Understanding
by Jantofan4life
Summary: It’s hard to carry on without your lover; yet life goes on and love is never far away. Set 7 Years after COE. Contains Jack/Ianto andJack/OC. Some chapters will be rated M.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Understanding**

**Slash: Jack/Ianto Jack/OC Gwen/Rhys**

**Spoilers: Set 7 (Earth) Years after COE**

**Summery: It's hard to carry on without your lover; yet life goes on and love is never far away.**

**A/N Not sure if I should continue posting this or not, please reveiw and tell me what you think I should do. The first part is an insight as to what is to come, then it goes back 6 years for most of the chapters. **

_Chapter 1 _

"Daddy!" Cadi ran through the door and immediately bundled Jack. Wrapping his arms around the four year old he brought her up into a hug.

"Hey kid, miss me?" He brushed her long brown hair off her face, and tucked it behind her ear, as she mutely nodded her head in reply. "Have fun with papa?"

"Papa took me to the park an' gave me ice cream," her bright blue eyes light up by just saying ice-cream. She always loved spending time with her papa, just preferred to spend it with her daddy. Both adults knew this, Jack felt guilty but the other just let it be, he didn't mind, in all honesty he was just lucky and grateful to have both in his life and both accept him in theirs.

It was at that moment that Andrew entered the room; wearing his usual blue jeans, black top and well worn black jacket which fits his slim figure perfectly and shows off his gorgeous amber eyes. Jack lowered Cadi to the floor and told her to go and get ready for lunch. He walked towards his lover, pulling him into a slow and tender kiss. "Had a good day?" Andrew queried.

"Yeah; the usual. Are you still ok about tomorrow?" Moving apart Andrew placed his keys on the table before pulling Jack in for another gentle kiss.

"Of course, I understand, must be hard for you, how long has it been now?" Jack looked away from his lover so he could see the tears threatening to fall. Andrew notice how he began to retreat back inside himself, shutting everyone out, he knew he was going to have some sorting out to do later, but for now ensuring Jack was outwardly okay was the top of his list. Knowing how Jack would hate to let Cadi catch onto his feeling.

"Too long," he let out a shaky breath, "6 years." Andrew noticed the complete change in mood in his lover; pulling him into a hug. Jack rested his head on Andrews shoulder, closing his eyes.

"It's ok to be upset, I understand." Truth was Andrew knew he couldn't understand, the only person he had ever really loved was Jack, and he had been assured he would never have to go through it. He had no idea what it felt like to watch someone he loved walk away from him. Jack finally allowed himself to release the tears, wetting Andrew's fake-leather jacket. Andrew silently rubbed Jack's head, allowing his lover to fall apart, allowing him to release his feelings which have built up over the year. The tears left to build up for all the hurt, loss and death Jack had experienced.

It seemed like they stayed like that for years, but mere minuets had passed. Taking in a shaky breath Jack pulled away from his lover, wiping his eyes furiously, annoyed that he had started crying when Cadi could walk in at any minuet.

"Why don't you go freshen up and I'll go get lunch ready?" With that Jack made his way out of the room and upstairs. Releasing a sigh Andrew made his way into the next room, ready to start lunch. Knowing this year was going to be harder than the last.

_6- years earlier_

"Jack fucking Harkness." Ianto was infuriated; Jack had been late, again! Ianto was left sat there looking like an idiot who has just been stood up. He could see the sympathetic looks from other couples in the restaurant. In one corner an elderly couple ate their dinner in silence, enjoying the peace together. The table next to him had a young couple, the male looked very nervous so Ianto assumed it was his first date. There were various other occupied tables scattered around the restaurant, more than half of the occupants seemed to spend more time throwing sympathetic looks at Ianto then focusing on their dates.

Jack came running into the restaurant soaked to the bone, he wasn't wearing his coat instead he carried the item like a dead weight. He had two dry strips on each of his sides and a completely dry back, his trousers had slight dry patches. The added weight apparent in his movement. He spotted Ianto and walked over to their table. "Where the fuck have you been?" Ianto was struggling to keep his anger in place.

"Something came up, sorry" Taking a seat he gave Ianto an apologetic look. Ianto keeping a neutral expression.

"You better make it up to me, hadn't you?" A small smile spread across Jack's face, not in too much trouble obviously.

"Oh yeah."

The rest of the evening managed to go to plan. It was a midnight when Jack found himself regretting reclining the offer to stay round Ianto's. He was currently pacing his office, restless. The thoughts of Ianto's naked body wrapped up in his bright red sheets keeping him from sleep. The cold shower doing nothing for him; the erotic images playing on his mind too much. He was fighting a loosing battle, he knew he would give in and go to Ianto's, hoping that he wouldn't have to disturb him though.


	2. Chapter 2 ADULT

**Title: Understanding**

**Slash: Jack/Ianto Jack/OC Gwen/Rhys**

**Spoilers: Set 7 (Earth) Years after COE**

**Summery: It's hard to carry on without your lover; yet life goes on and love is never far away.**

**A/N I'm Not sure how oftern I'll be able to update, I'll try to update at least once every weekend, hope that's okay? **

**Another thing, it stays with Ianto and Jack (which is set just under 1 year after COE) 'till about chapter Six before returning to the present day, I wanted to explain most things at the same time and it ended up being rather long, hope it makes sense.**

**I will probably end up posting another chapter today depending on how much more I get written.**

_Chapter 2 **Adult chapter**_

Barely five minuets later he was speeding through Cardiff in the SUV on the way to Ianto's apartment. Tires skidding on the wet road, spraying water onto pedestrians on the pavement, although why they were out this time was beyond Jack, his mind was on other things, a Welshman to be more precise. A Welshman and his body to be even more accurate. A Welshman's body and what it could be doing to him.

Swinging the SUV outside Ianto's house Jack virtually fell out of the car before he got the keys out. Running up the garden path he narrowly avoided tripping over and landing head first on the slippery surface. Scrabbling around in his pockets he finally pulled out his torchwood copy of Ianto's key, he couldn't get it into the lock fast enough. Stumbling in the house he tried to be as quiet as possible, hoping he hadn't woken Ianto up. He made his way to Ianto's room as quickly and quietly as possible.

The moonlight shone on the sleeping form. The quilt hugging his hips, lucky for him as he was naked and hadn't woken up to the racket Jack had been making. Jack stood, leaning on the door frame admiring his sleeping lover. His erection pressing tightly against his trousers.

Ianto awoke to the dip in the bed. He knew it would be Jack he needn't even bother opening his eyes, he could tell by Jacks smell alone. Jack lightly pressed small kisses to the back of his neck; a small smile spread across Ianto's lips. "Changed your mind?" Jack didn't answer he just continued placing kisses on Ianto's neck and upper back. Ianto moaned softly as Jack bit his neck where it joined with his shoulder.

Within minuets they were both stripped naked, sharing lust filled kisses as they rubbed their erections against each other. Without warning Jack reached out and grabbed Ianto's cock, pumping it softly, Ianto let out a low moan. Jack kissed his way down Ianto's neck and chest, stopping to suck one nipple than the other, teasing each one with his tongue. His tongue trailing down Ianto's body, stopping at his crotch, ignoring his cock he kissed a wet trail down his thigh and sucked on the back of his knee, soon kissing back up to his crotch. Ianto's eyes were close, moaning in pleasure.

Jack leaned forward and captured the head of Ianto's cock in his mouth; moving his hand to cup Ianto's balls, rolling them between his fingers. Ianto let out a moan of surprise which soon turned to pleasure. Sucking slowly on the head of Ianto's cock; driving him mad, Ianto silently willing him to go further. Jack blindly reached for the lube that was always on the bedside table, fumbling around for it. Locating it he applied a generous amount of lube to the fingers of one hand; still teasing his cock with his mouth. Trailing his hand between Ianto's buttocks; his fingertips ghosting over his tight entrance. Ianto's moans became louder and more desperate. Using his middle finger to tease the hole; feeling the muscle quiver under his touch before sliding just the tip inside.

"Jack, please," Ianto begged; Jack released his cock from his mouth.

"More?" without waiting for an answer he pushed his whole finger into him, slowly beginning to open him up, moving the digit backwards and forwards. It wasn't long before he was adding a second and a third; stretching his tight muscle. Sitting up, he removed his fingers, coating his swollen cock with lube, Ianto moaning at the loss. Parting Ianto's legs he placed his cock at Ianto's entrance. "Ready?" The look on Ianto's face was the only answer he needed. Excruciatingly slowly Jack push his cock deep inside him, not stopping till he was ball deep, fully seated, Ianto's breathes coming in short pants. Waiting for a few moments, the heat and tightness of Ianto's channel nearly taking him over the edge; also allowing Ianto's body time to adjust. Ianto's hips moving against Jack's were all it took for him to begin pounding in and out of Ianto; he had been waiting all night, there would be time for slow later. Bending down he met Ianto in a messy kiss as their bodies moved together.

Ianto grasped his own cock, stroking in time to Jacks thrusts. Neither of them would last much longer. Jack felt Ianto's arse contract around his cock, as his release spilled over his hand and bed, two more thrusts was all it took, Shouting Ianto's name, Jack released his seed deep inside of his lover. Pulling out he collapsed next to him. It was a few minutes till both had fully recovered. Leaning over Ianto pressed a loving kiss to Jacks lips, "we should really clean up…"

The morning sun beamed directly on Ianto's window. Jack stood at the window, allowing Ianto a well deserved rest. The sunlight illuminating him; in almost an angelic way. He had a bad feeling that something was going to go wrong on this seemingly beautiful day, something nagging in the back of his mind that something terrible was about to happen, his life was about to change forever. Shaking his head he looked at his watch, 9:20, he'd better wake Ianto up before it gets too late and he decides to do something drastic, and Jack couldn't stand another cup of instant coffee, not after Ianto came into his life.

He quietly exited the room, making his way downstairs and into the kitchen, he knew he would be murdered for even attempting to make coffee so he decided to go for the safe option and began making two cups of tea.

When he returned to the bedroom he was surprised to find that Ianto was no longer there; hearing the bathroom door open he put the cups down on the bedside table; waiting for his lover to enter the room. "Morning; why didn't you wake me?" Jack sat on the bed, pulling Ianto with him, stealing a quick kiss.

"You needed some rest," Ianto was just about to protest when Jack cut him off, "don't worry I've phoned Gwen, told her not to be in till noon and to tell the others to take the whole day off, we could all do with a break. You especially, when was the last time you had a day off?" Ianto knew Jack was right; he hadn't had a proper day off in over a year. Jack led on the bed pulling Ianto on top of him, kissing him. "What do you want?"

"Make love to me." He complied. Pulling the other man into another kiss, he began to explore the familiar body with his hand, caressing his sensitive sides, loving how Ianto is ticklish, and started squirming at the contact. "Jack…"

"Yeah?" he continued to attack Ianto's sides, his patience wearing thin.

"Stop messing around and fuck me already!" With that Jack flipped them over so he was now on top of Ianto.

"How do you want it?" The lust showing in both mans eyes.

"Slow and deep, I want to feel you fill me completely, so we're joint as one; but first I want you to suck me."

"I love it when you talk like that!" He made his way down Ianto's body, leaving a trail of kisses. He reached Ianto's cock and licked his lips in anticipation, looking up at him he saw all the encouragement he needed, he licked from base to tip, following the prominent vein, he swirled his tongue around the slit electing a moan from Ianto. He captured the head of Ianto's cock in his mouth as he reached a hand between his legs and began to roll his balls, Ianto moaned in pleasure as Jack consumed his whole cock, teasing his lover in a way only he knew. He continued tormenting Ianto for several minutes, grabbing the lube he applied it to one hand and slowly began to tease Ianto's entrance slowly opening him up; until it began unbearable for Ianto. He roughly ceased Jacks' hair and pulled Jack away.

"Enough torture and fuck me already!"

"God yes," Jack moaned. He quickly coated his cock with lube end slowly entered his lover not stopping till he was fully seated; Ianto wrapped his legs around the older man. Looking into each other eyes they began moving; soon settling in to a slow rhythm. Several times, they had to pause and breathe deeply to keep from coming too soon, wanting to draw out the pleasure for as long as possible. They continued until a thin sheen of sweat covered both of them, both breathing hard. Ianto tightened his legs around Jack, urging him to go deeper, the need showing clear in both men's eyes.

"Harder, please Jack, I want to feel you pounding into me," Jack had to bite back a moan. Jack complied and increased the pace, pounding as hard and deep into his partner as possible, grunting with the effort. Jack altered the angle of his thrusts, each stroke now hitting Ianto's prostate.

"Guh, right there, feels so good!" Ianto gasped. Both men felt their orgasm build. "Jack please, I need to come." Jack wrapped his hand around Ianto's weeping cock, stroking firmly in time to his thrusts.

"Come for me, Ianto." That was all Ianto needed; tightening his hold on Jack, he arched his back and came hard; spilling his release over both men's bodies, the name of his lover on his lips. Jack drank in the sight of Ianto lost in his orgasm as he felt his own release approach even closer. He gave Ianto even more pleasure by continuing to thrust into Ianto's channel through his climax, intensifying his orgasm. Holding on for as long as he could, until the need became to close. "Look at me," Jack gasped. "Watch me come." Ianto looked deep into his partners eyes as he thrust twice more then emptied himself deep into his lover, crying out his name.

Jack collapsed onto Ianto's chest, completely spent, both content lying wrapped together. Ianto pressed a kiss to Jack's sweaty hair as he felt him slide out. They remained in the position for a while till both men's breathing returned to normal, without any words they got up and walked into the bathroom, sharing a shower, getting ready for the day ahead and what ever it may entail.


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: Understanding**

**Slash: Jack/Ianto Jack/OC Gwen/Rhys**

**Spoilers: Set 7 (Earth) Years after COE**

**Summery: It's hard to carry on without your lover; yet life goes on and love is never far away.**

**A/N I wont be able to post 'till the weekend now. Thanks for everyone that's reading, even more thanks to those who reveiw. :)**

_Chapter 3_

It was one o'clock before they finally made it into work; neither surprised that Gwen still hadn't made it in. it's not often you can get time off this job. As Jack disappeared into his office Ianto wondered off to feed their various inhabitants, saving Myfanwy till last. Out of all the creates in torchwood Ianto felt a special bond only with Myfanwy, she did help him get into torchwood after all, and before Jack came and "helped" capture him he had already formed a sort of bond with her. She was by far his favourite; sometimes her company was more enjoyable then Jack's. Crazy as it may sound but Ianto often spent time talking to her about his day, and his feelings, and by looking at her response he knew she understood him.

Finishing with Myfanwy he took the long route to Jack's office, stopping to brew a coffee, making one for Gwen just in case she turned up, leaving it on the side. Knocking on the door he waited patiently for Jack to tell him to come in, after which he entered placing the coffee's on his desk. "You know you don't have to knock, right?"

"Force of habit," standing up Jack wound his arms around Ianto, pulling him as close as possible, loving the feel of his partner pressed against him, the way their bodies matched each other so perfectly. "Was there anything I could do for you sir?" grinding their hips together as he spoke the last word, knowing the effect it had on the older man. Jack had to bite back a growl. Ianto could feel the effect almost instantly.

"You know what that does to me; do you really want to risk Gwen walking in on us again?" To Jack's surprise Ianto thought this over, seemingly contemplating this question. Before Jack could react Ianto had him pinned against the desk, dominating Jacks' mouth with his own. All thoughts fled Jack's mind as Ianto cupped him, drawing moans out of Jack. Before Jack could take any further action Ianto had pulled back just as the alarm went off alerting them to the presence of Gwen. Straightening his suit Ianto left Jack stunned in his office, leant against the desk, bruised lips and an ever-present erection.

Walking out of Jack's office Ianto made his way to Gwen's station. "I think Jack wants to see you in his office, I'll bring your coffee up." Slightly confused Gwen complied and made her way into her boss's office, stopping dead and the sight before her and failing the attempt to suppress her laughter. Seeing the look of anger on Jack's face she made another attempt to stop laughing, hiding her giggles behind her hand as if that made any difference. Jack straightened himself up just as Ianto walked through the door with coffee for Gwen.

"You'll pay for this Ianto," Jack virtually growled.

"I'm sure I will, _sir_," handing Gwen her coffee he winked at Jack. Just as Ianto turned to leave Jack caught his arm and pulled him, catching his lips in a dominant kiss. Gwen found the scene before her strangely hot and realised how right Tosh had been about the two of them when she claimed they were the hottest couple ever.

It wasn't long until the rift alarm went off, alerting the three to the increase in activity, wondering over to the nearest work station Ianto studied the screens whilst waiting for Jack to come running down from his office. "What have we got?" Jack asked from across the hub.

"Rift activity, high, looks like it's from just outside the tourist office." Ianto started to tap the keys on the keyboard.

"Bring up the CCTV."

"Doing it now." By the time the CCTV was on the screen both Jack and Gwen had their coats on. The grainy picture revealed an obviously shaken up weevil staggering across the street. "Seems a bit high for one weevil."

"Yeah…Ianto stay here and scan the rest of the bay, something else must've happened. Gwen and I can handle the weevil." The alarms sounded marking the departure of Gwen and Jack. Ianto did as ordered and continued scanning. It wasn't long before he found another abnormality. Activating his com he stood up, knowing already what order will come next, "Jack there's something else, just by the water tower, I can't make out what it is, it could just be another weevil, it's hard to tell."

"Take the invisible lift and stay there, that way you can find out what it is without it having knowledge of you," at least that's what Jack hoped. Ianto kept his com line open as he activated the lift. The slab had barely reached the top when Ianto was sent flying, a violent shove pushed him towards the bay. The cry of pain reached Jack through his com. Worry etched its way into his mind, forcing him to drop the weevil and run to save Ianto, if only he was faster.

Ianto lay in a heap on the ground, desperately clutching his chest, an open wound, the first of many. Another blow to the head knocked him out. This action could be seen as a gift, for the pain from the following beating would have been unbearable for anyone. The noise of bones cracking and snapping echoing was enough to draw any living creature away. Ianto's last image is of a violent, blood-thirty beast, it's deep red skin a reflectance of the death and destruction it has already brought, the long sharp teeth built for carnivorous activities, the hands built for use of dangerous weapons, with the slim build of the fingers, more than found on a human. After striking Ianto his skin seemed to turn yet a deeper red, another victim to add to the list. The aliens piecing orange eyes glowing in the light; shimmering with evil and showing no mercy as it devours all. Scarring a vision in Ianto's mind.

Jack rounded the corner in time to see the last action, the creature forcefully brought its arm down, hit clenched hand connecting with Ianto's head with a toe curling crunch. Jack shot on sight but was too late. Jack could feel the bile rising up in his throat as he ran to Ianto's body, a never ending stream of tears left his body, the sobs reaching Gwen through the coms causing her to break down in tears as well. Jack picked the bloody body of his lover and held him into his arm cradling his head in his lap, not believing what had just happened.

Gwen's heart ripped apart at the sight before her, her captain's soul had been opened and free for the world to see, his sorrow, grief, love, looking at him now there was know way anyone could doubt his love for Ianto, it was made clear he loved him with all that he is. Jack clung to Ianto's body, praying he was still with him, hoping he hadn't lost him, that Ianto was clinging onto life for him. He wasn't ready to loose him, not now. Gwen tentatively walked over, hands covering her mouth; as the shock of the scene before her sunk in. She collapsed onto her knees beside the two men and reached and arm placing two fingers to Ianto's neck, hoping against hope to find a pulse.


	4. Chapter 4

**Title: Understanding**

**Slash: Jack/Ianto Jack/OC Gwen/Rhys**

**Spoilers: Set 7 (Earth) Years after COE**

**Summery: It's hard to carry on without your lover; yet life goes on and love is never far away.**

**A/N Big thank you to all of you who read **

_Chapter 4_

To Gwen's relief she managed to find a strained, weak pulse. Knowing she had to act fast she quietly told Jack to take Ianto into the hub while she phoned Martha. Gwen noticed the slight release of breath when he realised that Gwen had found a pulse. Activating her com Gwen phoned Martha telling her Ianto was injured and they needed her ASAP; hearing her reply Gwen realised that the luck hadn't ran out just yet, as Martha was already in Cardiff hoping to surprise them with a visit.

Jack managed to build up enough strength to slowly move, he carefully picked up the body of the other man and carried him onto the invisible left, almost robotically he pressed the relevant button on his wrist strap, waiting for the lift to fully descend before stepping off and carrying the body to the autopsy room; the silent tracks of tears marking his face, his eyes revealing a broken man as his head feared the worst. It was happening again.

He carefully removed Ianto's jacket, tie and loosened shirt and placed the items on the side; taking a moment to caress the soft material of his tie, memories of them together entering his mind; his mind drawing out the happy moments in the past of the man as he fought for his life; battling against death.

_Ianto had been searching the bedroom for ten minutes now, still no sign of the missing item. "Jack Harkness what the hell have you done with it?" confused Jack made his way from the bathroom and into the bedroom._

"_What's all this fuss about?" Jack couldn't help but notice how cute Ianto looked when he was angry, the slight tint of red visible on his face._

"_What the hell have you done with it Harkness," he raged, Jack still none the wiser as to what he was talking about._

"_Care to enlighten me and tell me what this is all about?" He crossed his arms and leant on the doorway._

"_For ten minutes I have been searching or my tie, what the hell have you done with it?" Jack couldn't help but laugh at the seriousness; all this for a tie? He wondered into the room and embraced the annoyed Welshman into a hug, an attempt to calm him down._

"_Are you sure you've looked everywhere?" Jack regretted his words as soon as they left his mouth. Ianto pulled out of the embrace._

"_I'm not stupid of course I've looked everywhere what do you think I've been doing for the past ten minutes?" Jack raised his hand in surrender, trying to calm him down. Something caught Jack's attention out of the corner of his eye. He walked over to the bed and seized the soft red material from where it was hanging over the headboard; before walking back over to Ianto and placing it around his neck._

"_You need to calm down."_

A small smile came across Jack's lips as he remembered the event with the tie. Stroking Ianto's face as he took his mind back to when it was tinted red. He spent the next few minutes tending to Ianto's cuts and cleaning him up the best he could, examining all the fresh wounds on his lover, using all the medical skills he could to keep Ianto stable until the arrival of Martha. Hearing the alarm announce the arrival he wiped his eyes and composed himself the best he could. Fighting off the memories of an event which occurred almost exactly one year ago.

Martha made her way to the autopsy room Gwen following close behind. "Oh my god, what happened?" Martha exclaimed in shock as she made her way to the fragile, broken man led on the table. It took her a few moments to decide where to start, finally choosing to pay attention to the nasty gash on his head.

Jack stood in the corner of the room unsure what to do, feeling totally useless. Gwen watched from above, hoping Ianto was clinging on, knowing the effects Ianto's death would have on Jack, witnessing it herself from the previous year. The tension in the room began to build and Martha could feel the ever increasing pressure. It wasn't long before she snapped. "That's it, I've had enough. I can't work under these conditions" She turned and looked at Gwen, "you have a husband and child you should be getting home to, and Jack, go and get changed, staying in bloody clothes wont be helping anyone." She saw he was about to protest. "No arguing I'll tell if there's any change now go," she gestured with her arms and watched as both left against their will. Now that the suffocating atmosphere had diminished she began to work her magic, from stitching to analysing, doing everything she can to save the man before her.

Martha heard about what happened before, when Jack lost him, she heard about the sacrifice he had to make and she knew why he done it, he heard how he abandoned Earth calling it a graveyard. And feel a slight relief knowing she wasn't around to see how broken her brave strong Captain was.

_2 Months Before_

_Gwen sat cuddled with her husband watching the news on TV, their 1 month old sleeping peacefully oblivious to his mothers pain, two months short of a year since the horrific visit of the 4,5,6 and the death of her beloved college and friend Ianto. She'd taken to day off work for personal reasons and as boss got away without any questions. She'd spent the past ten months rebuilding torchwood, changing it, improving it hoping that one day Jack'll be back and will be proud of what she's done. She stared at the TV not paying much attention to it till a sentence struck her._

"_There have been reports of the frozen victims from the attack of the 4,5,6 reviving, there has been no official news but researchers have…"_

_Both Gwen and Rhys stared at the TV in shock, was what the reporter was saying true? Was there a chance Ianto could be back? Gwen allowed hope of Ianto's revival to enter her head and broke away from her husband, she grabbed her coat and slipped on her shoes, with no word to her husband she exited the house._

_Within minutes she was at her destination, she ran through the newly modelled hub, not stopping until she reached the morgue ignoring all the looks and raised eye brows she'd caused with her unexpected appearance. She opened drawer no. 16 and stopped with her hand on the handle, bracing herself for nothing to happen and her knew found hope to be shattered. She squeezed her eyes shut for a second before slowly rolling the drawer out. She looked at the person within, the young fragile body of a person she once knew and whispered, "Hello, please, please come back to me." She slid the lid open and caressed the face lightly, she walked over to the cupboard and pulled out the anti-freeze medication her team had been working on and improving. She carefully injected the purple solution to the main vein of his neck, and patiently waited for it to take affected._

_Half an hour later she knew it was now or never, she pressed her fingers to the pulse point of his neck hoping to find a pulse, relieved by the faint sign of life felt within. She called for the second in command and ordered her to help in moving him into a rest room where he can recover._

_By the time she was happy that Ianto would be comfortable when he came around Rhys had arrived, he walked over to the room and pulled his wife into an embrace, they kissed lovingly before pulling apart, "is it working?" his voice cracked._

"_Yes, I can't believe it he's back," she cried into his neck, tears of relief, "he's really back." A few minutes later she managed to compose herself and pulled away from him slightly, "but I don't understand how this is possible."_

"_I've been watching all the news channels and I've searched the web, some scientists studied the bodies afterwards and found the virus, and unusual compound they've called it Helixacane, they've done test using minor dosages and have found after a certain amount of time the virus revived the victim as a sort of side effect, they didn't want to publically release this information because it wont work on everyone, only people with a certain gene, and they didn't want to cause more upset and distraught, and if this got into the wrong hands who knows what could happen." The couple stood in silence for a while before Rhys decided they had to do something, "maybe you should call Martha."_


	5. Chapter 5

**Title: Understanding**

**Slash: Jack/Ianto Jack/OC Gwen/Rhys**

**Spoilers: Set 7 (Earth) Years after COE**

**Summery: It's hard to carry on without your lover; yet life goes on and love is never far away.**

**A/N Sorry about the shortness of this chapter, will try and post again during the week if I can :) Thank you for reading!**

_Chapter 5_

_It was another hour till Ianto resembled normal colour, the monitor Martha had hooked up showed the steady beat of Ianto's strong heart. "Any luck?" Gwen asked, walking over to the bed where Martha sat, phone pressed against her ear, hoping Martha had been able to reach the doctor. _

_She shook her head, "he must've left the phone in the TARDIS it keeps going to answer phone, I won't give up though!" the determination shone in Martha's eyes. Gwen laid a comforting hand on Martha's arm as she pressed redial for what must be the thousandth time. The room filled with the desperate sound of beeping, the cry out to be heard, the call to the doctor. _

_The doctor entered the TARDIS closely followed by Jack, the pair silent as they contemplated the effects of the event that had just passed and the impact that was now going to have to the small colony on the planet Detlexia. The friendly race there will now lead a life of better quality and it was all down to them. It took both men a few minutes before they realised there was a sound filling the TARDIS, Jack looked at the doctor quizzically, wondering what was going on. With a look of worry etched on his face the doctor strolled over to the console and pulled out his phone, seeing Martha's number light up the screen he felt a flurry of emotions. He answered the phone and stared straight at Jack. "Martha…what?...no!...ok…ok…we'll be there…bye." Putting the phone away the doctor sprung to life, pressing buttons and pulling leavers he set the TARDIS' flight path and started on the short journey to Earth._

"_What was that about?" Jack made his way to the console aiding the doctor in flight unsure as to what was going on._

"_That was Martha, she needs us back at Earth," he looked into the other mans eyes, "something's happened and it involves you." A small smile escaped him which Jack picked up on, he couldn't help but to wonder why the doctor was being so vague, what had happened? Neither man spoke till as they flew the TARDIS bringing it to an uneasy stop inside the new torchwood hub. The doctor glanced a look at Jack and saw him bury his emotions, not once had the pair returned to Earth in this timeframe, the doctor knowing how hard it was going to be for Jack to face everything again, he felt a pang of guilt knowing if it weren't for him Jack's life would've been very different, whether for the better or not._

"_You ready?" with a slight nod of his head Jack followed the doctor to the door; taking a deep breath they left the TARDIS. Looking around Jack couldn't help but admire the work gone in to create this new hub, it was a world away from what it used to be, yet it still held some similarities. They followed a loud beeping noise as Jack realise they were heading to the medical area. The sight before causing him to stop dead, his forceful amour threatening to break down, his past lover lying before him, heart monitor attached revealing a steady beat._

"_No...No! I can't, there's no…" he stuttered backing away only to be stopped by the strong arms of the doctor wrapping around him._

_Half an hour later both men had been filled in on the proceedings to this event, how it could be possible for a mortal to come back from the dead, how Jack's only wish came he true. Sat next to the man whom he thought was lost to the darkness forever he lovingly stroked his face, a small smile playing on his lips as his brave, strong Ianto fought his way back to him. The others had left them alone, knowing Jack would want privacy especially once Ianto had regained consciousness. Silent tears rolled down his cheeks as he let his emotions free, the first time in many years the Captain allowed himself to be human. _

_As time passed Jack began to doubt that Ianto would ever return fully to the world of the living, bending over he pressed a soft kiss to the Welshman's lips before burying his face in his hands. Beside him a quite murmur raised, silent enough to go unnoticed. Ianto's eyes focusing in the blinding light, such contrast to where he had previously been, glancing to his side he saw a familiar shape, "Jack?" he managed to rasp out, his throat dry and scratchy. _

_A soft touch on his arm breaking the captain from his thoughts, he slowly looked up and couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face. Ianto was really alive. _

Once showered and changed Jack returned to Ianto's side, ensuring he stayed out of Martha's way. Time ticked on as Ianto's condition improved. Martha could see the slight glimmer of hope shining for a bare millisecond when she informed him of Ianto's good progress. "He should be coming around within the next hour."

Jack mutely nodded at her words before looking up at her with appreciative eyes, "Thank you, for everything, I don't know what I'd do without you." His voice cracking with emotion.


	6. Chapter 6

**Title: Understanding**

**Slash: Jack/Ianto Jack/OC Gwen/Rhys**

**Spoilers: Set 7 (Earth) Years after COE**

**Summery: It's hard to carry on without your lover; yet life goes on and love is never far away.**

**A/N This is the last Jack/Ianto chapter, chapter Seven goes back to the present day. Will post again at the weekend hopefully. Thank you to everyone that read this, it's really appreciated since I know I'm not a good writer, sorry about my ramble, hope u like this chapter.**

_Chapter six_

A new dawn broke a cross the sky above the depths of the hub, bringing a new life to Cardiff, the light shimmering across the bay. Deep below Jack sits next to Ianto's damaged body, hoping for a miracle that comes so rare in his life. He fights against the closing of his eyes, he may not need sleep as much as an average human but the worry has worn him out and he knows he's fighting a loosing battle. He lets his heavy lids drop, for only a second, but that's enough to send him to sleep.

Hearing a whisper of his name he suddenly awakes, sitting bolt upright he scans the room for the source of the sound. No-ones there. Realisation dawned on him as his eyes reached the Welshman before him, a small smile played on his lips at the sight of Ianto's gorgeous eyes on his. He leant down and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, tears of relief washing over his face, Ianto was okay.

Ianto raised a hand to rest on the Captains cheek, wincing as pain shot through his shoulder but now allowing it to deter him. Jack placed a gentle hand on top over his. Their eyes locked, both clearly showing the love they share with each other. "How you feeling?" Jack couldn't help but to chuckle at the face Ianto made in response to his question. "Sorry a bit of a stupid question. I should go call…" Jack was broken off by the sound of someone quietly coughing, he looked over to the doorway where the source of the sound was stood, nervously looking between the two men.

Charlie had been working for Torchwood for eight months now, he was the one they knew least about, as he was always reserved, and kept himself to himself letting no one in on his life before and outside of Torchwood. "Is there anything I can get either of you?" his voice was soft and quiet.

"We could do with some water please? And if you wouldn't mind called Martha and letting her know he's come around?"

"Of course," Charlie turned around and quickly left the room, but he didn't miss the quiet thank you said by both men.

A few minutes later Charlie returned with two cups of water, one with a red straw in as he knew it wouldn't be worth the pain in trying to get Ianto sat up properly. He gave Jack his cup and offered Ianto his, holding it in place as he drank greedily. "Martha should be here soon, Gwen wont be in 'till midday and I'm unsure about the other two, I can ring them if you want me to?"

"No it's okay, the main thing is getting Ianto better, if anything happened with the rift you can call them in, I don't want anyone going out on their own."

"I understand," he placed Ianto's half empty cup on the side and walk towards the door, "if you need anything I'll be happy to get it for you." With that he left, causing Jack to wonder even more about the illusive man in the team.

_One week later..._

Ianto was bored being stuck in his house, his body still stiff and sore as a result of last weeks incident, the time spent at home allowed him to think and review his life. He'd come to a decision and he knew Jack wouldn't be happy about it but in the end he had no choice, he simply couldn't go on like this anymore, it was too much. This was the wake up call he'd needed; he chewed on his lip worriedly, Jack would be there in an hour, one hour and everything was going to change. It was no good sitting there and worrying about what was to come, so he made a conscious decision and got up. He had a quick shower, the warm water soothing his aching, bruised body. Towel wrapped around his waste he wondered into his bedroom, drying himself he pulled on black jeans which he hadn't worn for what felt like a life time and a slightly baggy black top, knowing how cold it was outside he rummaged in his wardrobe for one of his old jackets, selecting one of his favourites he tentatively pulled it on, wincing as he stretched too far pulling on the stitches in his chest. Putting the towel in the washing basket he made his way back into the living room, picking up a book he'd previously abandoned on the coffee table he began to read.

Time flew past and before he knew it his front door swung open as Jack entered the house. Hearing Jack calling out to him he responded as he replaced the book neatly on the table, "In here Jack, we need to talk."

Worry over come Jack as he heard the tone his lover spoke the words in. He slowly made his way to Ianto, sitting down beside him, scared about what Ianto was about to reveal. "Jack I…I…"

"Ianto please what ever it is just say it," he pleaded.

"I can't do this anymore, I just can't, I've nearly died so many times, I've been dead I just....I can't cope with it. I'm sorry, I'm going to leave," he looked into Jack's blue eyes brimming with tears. "not just Torchwood, I'm going to leave you as well."

"You can't! I need you please don't leave me! I lo…"

"Don't! just don't." tears fell freely down both mans faces, "I'm sorry." He stood up to leave but was stopped as Jack forcefully grabbed his arm. Ianto had to bite his lip to stop a cry of pain escaping.

"Don't make me loose you, I'll give you anything you want _anything_, I'll give up Torchwood, what ever you want just don't go! I can't bear to loose you again." He grip slipped from Ianto's arm, the younger man never broke his gaze into Jack's helpless eyes.

"That's another thing, I don't want you to have to watch me die again, I can't take the thought of you seeing that again. I'm sorry it's for the best." He turned around and opened the drawer on the bottom of the coffee table, taking out a leather wallet he removed a white pill, one of the strongest doses they had.

"Ianto no!" he made to take it off him but Ianto stepped back.

"I'm really sorry Jack," his voice cracking, "so sorry, it's the only way." He pressed a final kiss to Jack lips, their last kiss, pouring in every emotion ever felt before pulling away, his face showing the broken young man that he really was. "I will always love you." He turned and left before Jack could respond. He walked out of Jack's life and didn't look back, he couldn't he knew if he allowed himself one more glance he'd be back in his arms, doing anything and everything to make the man of his dreams smile again.

Jack pulled his knees up and cried into them, not fully believing or understanding what had just happened. Unsure of where he was going to go in life. Hoping against hope Ianto would walk back through the door and back to him. He never did.


	7. Chapter 7

**Title: Understanding**

**Slash: Jack/Ianto Jack/OC Gwen/Rhys**

**Spoilers: Set 7 (Earth) Years after COE**

**Summery: It's hard to carry on without your lover; yet life goes on and love is never far away.**

**A/N Don't have much time to write at the moment will try and post regularly though. Feedback is loved :) Big thanks to ****specialfrancine, and a thank you to those of you who read.**

_Chapter Seven_

_Present Day_

The day wore on hard, both men grateful when seven pm came around, they both underwent their usual routine in putting Cadi to bed, Andrew read her a story as she cuddled with Jack soon falling into a peaceful sleep. He carefully slipped out of her embrace and both men pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, wishing her sweet dreams. Heading to bed both men stripped to their underwear and cuddled up in bed, Andrew knew that Jack would soon be lost in his thoughts, letting loose silent tears. He felt useless, knowing all he could do was hold him and whisper comforting words in Jack's ear.

"Papa?" Cadi wondered sleepily into the living room, carrying her treasured teddy and blanket with her, awake enough to notice the absence of her dad. It was only 8:30 am and Andrew was slightly surprised she was awake.

"What is it honey?" Andrew opened his arms that Cadi instantly wrapped herself into. They stayed there for a few minutes, comfortable in each others company; breathing in each other unique sent that both were so used to.

"Where's Daddy gone?" Cadi rubbed her eyes as if it would help her see her daddy. Obviously upset he wasn't there when she woke.

"He's gone to the shop, wont be long now, c'mon lets go get you dressed and by the time we've done that he should be home." Cadi moved off Andrew's lap and slowly started walking to her room, dragging Andrew with her.

Jack had been stood there for 10 minutes now, still had no idea which one to get. Red, was the only thing he could think of. Red. Not very helpful; not with all the red flowers before him. Nothing seemed to suit his lost lover, not one. Nothing felt right for the way he felt towards him. Everything different from his lost lover's personality. Nothing seemed appropriate, too bright, too cheery, too old, and too young. If only his Welshman was with him now, if only he could hold him one last time, if only he hadn't left.

_Everything hurts; my heart has been broken in a way it shall never repair. There is a gaping hole in my soul, the size of a Welshman. I am incomplete without his life, without his love, without him here to hold. Everyday it gets worse, people say it will get better, time can't heal all wounds, it will never heal mine. I struggle on in life forever. Outlasting everyone. Yet I have never known a loss such as the one I feel from losing him. I can never die in person but my soul, my life, died with him, when he left without me. He took me with him and I shall never feel the bliss of relief. It might have been easier if he'd died too young, too innocent; snatched from a hate filled world; instead he abandoned me, taking a chunk of my heart with him. I was a fool to let him go._

It wasn't till his vision became blurred that Jack recognised the fact he was crying. He had broken down in the middle of a store; where he had no one to help him, no one who understood him. He felt a pair of arms wrap around his shoulders; his head swimming with confusion.

"You okay Jack?" the arms released from around his waste, tears streaming down his face as she pulled him into a proper hug, offering him the support he needed. "Bit of a stupid question," she sighed, "C'mon, lets get you home, you could do with being with Andrew right now."

"I…I can't," Jack stated as he pulled away from the hug, "I can't go home and pretend to play happy families, I can't pretend to Cadi that everything's alright, not today."

"Oh Jack, it's ok, I understand it's hard for you, hell it's hard for me," she paused for a moment wondering what to say, "Have you chosen anything yet?" She asked gesturing to the flowers.

"Nothing seems to fit, nothing seems right, nothing fits my feelings for him or his personality." Reaching forward she picked up a bunch of bright red flowers. Jack took them "Roses and tulips?" He thought for a moment, "Love and passion as well as a declaration of love…" a silent minute passed. "They'll be perfect, thank you Gwen," Jack gently pressed a kiss to her cheek, "for everything."

"What are friends for? I no how hard it is for around this time, you carry so much on your shoulders, at times like this you need to get rid of them, and I'm here for you to share them with, I'll help you through it."

"What would I do without you?"

"You'd still be moping it that bloody office of yours," Gwen joked. Although this seemed elect a sad face on Jack. "C'mon lets get you back to that gorgeous man and beautiful daughter of yours!" They made there way to the checkout to pay for the flowers, Gwen's shopping long forgotten.

Andrew left Cadi in her room, attempting to brush her hair, hoping that Jack would be back soon. He wondered down the stairs and into the kitchen, contemplating whether to put the kettle on or not. He knew that any other day Jack wouldn't mind a nice cup of tea or half descent cup of coffee, but today he would normally get out an old battered coffee machine and just stare at it. Jack would shut himself in their room; Andrew knew better than to disturb him, he knew that Jack needed his space and trusted that Jack would talk when he was ready.

Just as he opened the cupboard door, ready to get out two mugs and a cup for Cadi, he heard the clatter of the front door opening, slightly surprised to hear two voices. "Andrew?" Jack shouted; his voice slightly shaky rebounding around the house.

"In the kitchen," Andrew got out three mugs and one of Cadi's cups.

"Daddy!" Cadi came running down the stairs straight into Jacks arms who picked her up in one fluid movement. "Missed you daddy," she stated.

"Missed you too hunni," Jack buried his face in the little girls hair, trying to suppress his overpowering emotions. They made their way to the kitchen; Andrew welcomed Gwen with a hug, and then placed a kiss on Cadi's head as well as Jacks' cheek, noting he had been crying. Andrew had known Gwen for a few years and it hadn't taking him long to realise just how much they relied each other.

"Drinks?"

"Cup of tea would do nicely thanks," Gwen replied.

"Not for me thanks," he carefully placed Cadi back on the floor, not wanting her to notice the tears now threatening to fall.

"Go sit down I'll bring it through in a minute," Andrew turned on the kettle and placed a tea bag in one of the cups. Today was going to be the hardest yet. The others went into the living room, Cadi clinging onto her daddy. Waiting patiently for him to get comfy before climbing onto his lap, settling with her head against his chest, the gentle sound of Jack's constant heart beat soothing away any fears.


	8. Chapter 8

**Title: Understanding**

**Slash: Jack/Ianto Jack/OC Gwen/Rhys**

**Spoilers: Set 7 (Earth) Years after COE**

**Summery: It's hard to carry on without your lover; yet life goes on and love is never far away.**

**A/N Sorry this wasn't posted earlier, been busy and not had much time to write :( I would love to hear your feedback, also I would like to apologise for any mistakes. Thank you for reading!!!**

_Chapter Eight_

The wind filtered passed the trees and blew softly over the stones. The moonlight beamed over them, bringing a sense of life to the dead. Jack crouched placing the flowers neatly on the ever-aging grave, the tears flooding down his face, as he let his grief go once more. When it was apparent Ianto was never coming back Gwen had arranged a funeral for Ianto, hoping to give Jack some closure, all it did was allow him a point in time to suppress emotions until. The grave stone wasn't holding up to bad but the signs of weathering were there. The only thing stopping him from replacing it was the picture, placed next to the name, one Ianto never knew existed. Taken in the spring.

_Jack being unable to sleep went in search of a book to read knowing Ianto had a collection downstairs. When he returned he felt his heart swell, Ianto was spread out on the bed, clinging to Jacks pillow, obviously breathing in the sent, the gap in the curtain allowed moonlight to show the relaxed features on Ianto's face. Jack couldn't help but take a picture; he knew he wanted this image of Ianto to remain forever, his beautiful Welshman at peace with the world. _

He sat next to the grave, head resting on the stone, allowing memories of the man enter his mind. Only allowing himself to be lost in thoughts of his lost lover once a year, it was easier on his fragile, broken heart that way. Various moments of the past entered his mind. It wasn't until the early hours of the morning the final image entered his head, the look of hate prominent in Ianto's eyes, the devastation and pain. The sight of Ianto leaving him stranded, taking the retcon as he left his old life behind, including Jack, turning his back cause he couldn't cope with Torchwood anymore.

That day was the worst of his life; nothing would ever take its place, it was all Jack's fault. Jack knew he couldn't let that be his last thought, so he let his mind drift to earlier that week, to the morning they spent in bed, making love. The shared kissed throughout the day, Gwen's face when she walked in on them. Further hours passed, as the sun began to rise he knew it was time to be leaving, standing up with one last look he left the graveyard, returning to his family. There was nothing he could do for the dead or lost, but he was going to protect his living family for as long as possible, because he knew they would be waiting, waiting for him to let his guard down, if only for a second, and then they'd be gone, lost as well. How was he going to last eternity this way?

Jack knew his heart couldn't last much longer and wondered what all the heart break would turn him into. He feared what would become of him, knowing he couldn't keep his monsters hidden deep within forever. Knowing that one day the grief would overcome him, and turn him into something he feared no-one could save him from. When Ianto left he lost is place in Torchwood, it no longer seemed worth it, all the work, the hours to save the world, yet death was the only thing to come out of it. Although he still remained in charge he no longer gave his life to it, immortal as he was, he knew it would ruin him more than the grief alone.

He had to live on now, he had his daughter, he had his lover, although Andrew knew he would never be loved as much as Ianto was, he still remained with him. But Jack feared that if he allowed himself to love another on the same level loosing them would break him into something worse than in anyone's nightmares. He allowed himself to love, just not with his whole heart, that was taken when Ianto left, his heart will never, can never be complete.

His daughter was something he promised himself would never happen, but in the end it wasn't completely his choice. Her farther was a great man who he could never allow to leave, and so he will remain, in her, forever, her children will keep them both alive, and so he is never really gone, he will be there as long as Jack himself, part of him keeping them together forever.

As quietly as he could Jack crept into his house, knowing that Andrew would awake to the slightest noise, rather than being an annoyance Jack saw this as a good thing, if anyone tried to get to them at night Andrew would be awake in a flash. This reassurance wasn't a lot but enough to let Jack get an hour's sleep minimum at night; however this did not mean he did that often. Looking at the clock in the hallway Jack saw the time and knew Andrew would be awake in at least an hour. No conscious thought was needed for him to silently move up the stairs and into his room, as quietly as he could Jack stripped down to his underwear. "Wondered when you'd be getting home," Andrews soft Scottish voice floated through the room, his accent more pronounced in his sleepy form.

"Sorry I woke you," Jack slipped into bed and gave Andrew a quick kiss. Andrew then pulled him in for longer one, happy that his partner was finally home. He knows that he shouldn't worry, but can't help the feelings and questions that flood his mind, worrying if he has decided to leave him, return to his old life travelling the universe.

"You know I don't mind, at least I know your home, safe." A minute passed with both men gazing in each others eyes, Andrew seeking for Jacks true emotional state; Jack finding comfort in the love he saw. A lonely tear fell from Jacks right eye, reaching out Andrew wiped it before Jack even realised it was there. "You don't have to be strong all the time, I'm here for you." Those words were all it took. He buried his head deep into Andrew's neck and let himself fall apart, finally allowing someone to comfort him.


	9. AN Progress

I now have a new laptop and will try to post this weekend however I am suffering from a bad case of writers block at the moment and cant seem to shift it!!! If any would has any ideas on how I could rid this, or any idea on how the story should progress I'll be happy to hear from you.

Also I apoligise in advance if the chapters start to get shorter.

Thank you to everyone that has read so far and I hope you enjoy the rest of it when it finally gets written!!!


	10. Chapter 9

**Title: Understanding**

**Slash: Jack/Ianto Jack/OC Gwen/Rhys**

**Spoilers: Set 7 (Earth) Years after COE**

**Summery: It's hard to carry on without your lover; yet life goes on and love is never far away.**

**A/N Sorry it took so long to post, keep getting ill then I have to catch up with stuff and I have loads of coursework to do, will try and post the next chapter soon. Thanks to everyone that reads, feedback is loved and it would be nice to hear what you think is going to hapen or could happen.**

**Thanks again for reading :)**

**A/N 2: The singer was chosen by a friend of mine...Thanx Leah :)**

_Chapter Nine_

The morning grew on and the two men lie there wrapped together, a blanket of comfort, care and love. The older man showing how as time wears on he is becoming more dependant on the other; how despite all the thoughts inside he found himself falling deeper for him. Moments like this cannot last forever, yet there was nothing more either man wanted at that moment. The moment was broken by the piercing beep of the alarm clock. Reaching out Andrew turned it off as Jack released his arms from around Andrew's body. "I'm sorry about before..." Andrew silenced him.

"Shh. Don't worry it's ok, to be honest I don't know how you last a year to let it go, I no I wouldn't be able to, especially if I'd lost you."

"Good thing you're never going to have to then isn't it?" They met each other in a slow and tender kiss, loosing themselves in the moment, blocking out the rest of the world, ignoring everything, past, present and future, for that moment nothing mattered apart from the fact they had each other. Fuelling all their love, passion and comfort into the kiss, letting themselves come undone and show who they really are underneath the shield the rest of the world sees. The men parted in unison both sighing as they got ready to face the day and all it will entail. Jack would be spending the day at home with Cadi as Andrew went to work. A routine both had now become stuck in.

Andrew got home after a tiring day at work, the boring repetition of seeing couple after couple wanting to book a romantic holiday, a family needing a break, or someone going on a business trip wanting to get there before their work starts. Andrew is not a man of regret but sometimes he really regrets his career choice. Who knew how boring being a travel agent could actually be. He was surprise to find the house in darkness apart from a soft glow, emitting from the living room. He placed his keys on the side and wandered into the room, the sight before him slightly overwhelming. Candles lit around the room, rose petals scattered on the floor, the coffee table had been moved and made way for a bigger table set in the middle, ready for a two person meal. The smell of incense sticks and spaghetti filled the room.

Jack entered the room from the kitchen, hearing the front door open and close announcing the arrival of his partner, and made his way straight to Andrew, meeting him in a soft kiss; wrapping his arms around the other man Andrew deepened it electing a moan from Jack as his tongue brushed against the roof of his mouth. "Been wondering when you'd be home; go sit down dinners nearly ready." Jack pulled away from Andrew as he said this.

"Smells delicious; sorry I couldn't get away earlier, had a hell of a day." He made his way to one of the chairs and sat down, letting him self relax, glad he was home, enjoying the surprise his partner had obviously taken ages to put together.

"It's okay, at least your home now; don't worry we've got all night, Gwen's looking after Cadi, sorry it's been so long since we did this last." The adoration was clear in Andrew's eyes, he was grateful for Jack just being with him that the added surprise overwhelmed him, making his heart swell. Jack went over to the stereo and put it on; the soft voice of John Barrowman filled the room, adding to the atmosphere. Jack had never heard of him until he met Andrew; but he couldn't deny that he was talented. He pressed a kiss to Andrew's forehead then made his way back into the kitchen to finish the dinner. Andrew lent back in his chair letting himself relax, the words playing through his head.

_If you're lost, you can look  
__And you will find me  
__Time after time  
__If you fall I will catch you  
__I'll be waiting  
__Time after time_

The words seemed to fit their relationship; both were there for each other no matter what, always knowing what to do for the other. Jack made his way back into the room carrying two steaming plates. He placed them on the table before opening the bottle of wine pouring Andrew a glass before himself. "Thank you Jack, for everything, this is lovely, just what I need."

"Just what we both need, I'm just sorry we don't get the chance to do this as often as I'd like." The sincerity in his words was made clear, Jack often felt like he was taking the other man for granted.

"Jack stop that thought right now, you don't now and have never taken me for granted. Admittedly I would like to do this more often but I know with our lives it's hard, but at the end of the day all that matters is we're together." Jack was shocked, he hadn't realised how well Andrew knew him until now, he managed to read his mind, there had only been one person who has ever managed to do that before, and he was gone. Looking into his partners eyes, it was now he knew for certain, something he could never deny, he loved this Scottish man just as much as he had loved, still loves Ianto. There was a comfortable silence as both men ate, enjoying the meal, lost in their own thoughts, content on being with each other and having time to be with each other and just relax.

The song changed and Andrew could help but sing along to it, it matched the feelings in his heart perfectly, showed the way he felt for Jack. _"Oh thinking about all our younger years, there was only you and me, we were young and wild and free, now nothing can take you away from me, we've been down that road before but that's over now, you keep me coming back for more. Baby you're all that I want, when you're lying here in my arms, I'm finding it hard to believe we're in heaven, and love is all that I need and I've found it there in your heart, it isn't too hard to see we're in heaven." _Jacks heart swelled as he heard him sing, his Scottish accent softening to fit the song, the words floating through him, realising what he felt for Andrew was returned in everyway.

"Andrew, I…" Jack stopped, lost for words, he didn't know what to say, the words fled his mind as he saw the look on Andrews face.

"What's the matter Jack?" he began to get concerned by seeing the look of confusion on his partners face, a worrying thought crossed his mind, _does he not truly love me?_


	11. Chapter 10

**Title: Understanding**

**Slash: Jack/Ianto Jack/OC Gwen/Rhys**

**Spoilers: Set 7 (Earth) Years after COE**

**Summery: It's hard to carry on without your lover; yet life goes on and love is never far away.**

**A/N You will find out what happened to Ianto in a later chapter, thank you for reading :). **

_Chapter Ten_

Jack picked up the change of emotions, knowing he had to do something before the whole evening was ruined. "I just…never realised how beautifully you sang." Andrew began to blush. Jack reached across the table and took his partners hand, rubbing his thumb across the back of it. "I'd like to hear you sing more often."

Andrew was shocked, "you would?" Jack might not understand why, but he didn't know the truth of Andrews' school days. His teenager years were ones he would rather forget, the constant bullying, the taunting, no matter what he did they would find a way to mock him.

"Yeah, you have a beautiful voice," Andrew broke eye contact with him and looked at the floor, Jack sensed the disbelief, "I'm being honest, your voice is as gorgeous as you." he lifted Andrew's chin forcing him to look into his eyes, "I could listen to you're voice all day, anyone who has every told you that you can't sing couldn't get any more wrong." For the first time in his life Andrew believed he was truly good at something he loved to do. It was only after he had finish saying this he noticed the song had changed, the lyrics took him completely of guard; _you'll find better love, strong as it ever was, deep as the river runs, warm as the morning sun, please remember me; _a silent tear fell from Jack's eye as he realised how true the song was to him. Andrew noticed this and reached across to gently wipe the tear, stopping it in its tracks.

"I'm never going to ask you for that." Andrew said quietly, looking at the floor. It took Jack a few minutes to realise what he was going on about.

"Andrew look at me," Jacks voice was soft yet demanding and Andrew knew he had no choice but to comply. "There's nothing anyone can do to make or stop me feeling the way I do about you, when we started dating I swore to myself that I was never going to fall that deep in love again." He stopped for a breath, searching Andrews' eyes, "But I forgot one thing, nothing can stop me from falling that far, or maybe even further, like I have with you." He leaned close to Andrew careful not to knock anything, "what I'm trying to say is…I love you, more than I love him." Closing the gap between them Andrew met Jack in a deep and passionate kiss, both pouring their love into it.

The kiss went on for several minutes but soon the need for oxygen over-ruled anything else. The men reluctantly parted. Resting their foreheads together Jack stared deep into Andrews eyes, loosing himself. Andrew held his gaze still shocked at what Jack had told him. He glanced over to the fireplace; looking at the picture of Jack's previous lover, he couldn't help the feeling that Jack was just telling him what he wanted to hear. Jack followed his lover's line of sight and what it came to rest on. Knowing Andrew as well as he did he knew that the man would be doubting his previous words, thinking Jack was just saying that. Jack let out an aspirated sigh. "What's wrong Jack?" Andrew becoming increasingly worried.

"You need to stop doing this to yourself," He tilted Andrew's face to look directly into his eyes, "believe me when I say I love you, because I do, with every inch of me. I'm not going to pretend that after you there won't be others, but I can promise you this, it is going to take one hell of a person to make me fall anywhere near one tenth as much as I feel for you. Yes I miss him, but I'm also glad in a way he left, because it brought us together." He gently caressed Andrew's cheek letting the words sink in.

Andrew finally allowed himself to believe the words spoken by Jack taking one last look at the picture of Jacks lost Welshman he knew then; there was nothing that could take him away from Jack or Cadi, as they are his life. The fact that Cadi wasn't his no longer affected him now he knew the truth. After Jack knew he had got through to his partner he encouraged him to finish his dinner which was beginning to grow cold. Silence grew over the two men as they ate till Jack could take it no more. "This really wasn't what I planned." Andrew reached out and entwined their fingers.

"I know, but hey it's the thought that counts. Just being with you is enough for me." he carefully leant across the table and pressed a soft kiss to Jack's lips. "As far as I'm concerned as long as I have you and Cadi my life can't get any better."

"I love it when you're soppy! It somehow makes you seem cuter."

"Now who's being soppy?" Jack chuckled softly; glad the evening was turning out okay. Andrew met Jack in a passion fuelled kiss. They reluctantly pulled apart and finished their meal which was beginning to grow cold. Both men finished as quickly as they could.

"Lets say we leave dessert and go make love?" a smile spread across Andrew's lips as he nodded mutely, both men stood in unison then met each other in a passion-fuelled kiss before Jack parted taking his lovers hand and practically dragging him upstairs and into the bedroom.


	12. Chapter 11 ADULT

**Title: Understanding**

**Slash: Jack/Ianto Jack/OC Gwen/Rhys**

**Spoilers: Set 7 (Earth) Years after COE**

**Summery: It's hard to carry on without your lover; yet life goes on and love is never far away.**

**A/N Now its the holidays I will hopefully be able to write this faster! Thank you to everyone who reads. Reviews please???**

_Chapter Eleven, __**Adult Chapter.**_

Andrew met Jack in a searing kiss, teeth clashed and hands roamed; clothes were thrown across the room. Andrew backed Jack up against the bed, his legs coming into contact with the mattress. Jack was pushed down onto the bed, pulling Andrew with him, the kiss never breaking. Andrew bit lightly on the Captains lip, drawing a moan from him, at the same time rubbing their already weeping erections together. Breaking the kiss Andrew bit softly at first on the juncture where Jack's neck met his shoulder before biting harder, soon leaving a blossoming love bite.

Andrew trailed a hand to tweak one nipple then the other before continuing on its journey to Jack's cock. He grasped the erection and firmly started to pump, electing moans to arise from Jack. The men stared into each others lust blown eyes, loosing themselves in passion. Meeting Jack in a heated kiss he reached his other arm out grabbing the tube of lube always left on the bedside table. He released Jacks cock and slicked up one hand trailing it down his body, ghosting it teasingly over his entrance, the kiss never breaking. Jack moans becoming more frustrated as Andrew continues to tease him, drawing pleasure in his lover in every way he can, hips grinding rhythmically together. Languidly he pressed his finger into the tight hole, Jack softly biting down on his lovers lip at the new sensation. Andrew worked his finger in and out, gradually preparing Jack, soon adding a second and third. Breaking the kiss he looked to Jack for reassurance, "do it."

Staring into Jacks eyes he gently pushed in, their bodies connecting as one. Love seeped from one man to the other, the world melted away as they became the only two in existence. They move up and down in the act of making love, caressing each other's bodies, stained in each others scent. The only sounds to be heard are those of moans of pleasure of breath, panting and flesh meeting flesh. Before long both men could feel their intense climax building, neither man wanting it to end, stalling the inevitable for as long as possible, lost in the moment, in each other and the amazing sensations.

Jack could tell Andrew was close to completion, the tell tail sign as his cock swelled that bit more from buried deep inside him. Wrapping his legs around Andrew's waste tighter he urged him into a faster pace. The intensity increasing almost too much to bear, Andrew grasped Jacks cock in his hand and stroked him in time to their thrusts, which were progressively becoming faster and harder. Feeling Andrew's teeth graze against his neck was all it took for Jack to be thrown completely off the edge, coming hard he shouted his lovers name. The feeling of Jack's body clamping around him catapulted Andrew into release, coming almost instantly after his lover, biting down hard on his neck to silence his screams of pure and utter pleasure. He collapsed on top of Jack, kissing his sweaty forehead, his wordless thanks, an action which Jack has learnt to read to the true extent of meaning.

The men lay their in contended silent, neither of them worried about the cooling sticky mess between them. Neither bothered about cleaning up, both just enjoying the silent moment holding onto each other as if nothing else mattered. It was just under half an hour later when they managed to pull themselves out of bed and shower. Returning to bed they settled down for the night, Jack's head resting on Andrew's chest, listening to the calming sounds of his heart beat.

As the moon descended high in the black of the Cardiff sky two lovers lay sleeping in each others arms, unaware as to what life would bring them and how their lives would change in the future. Silently Jack awoke staring lovingly at his blissfully sleeping lover; he led their just watching, studying, imprinting his image to last for a short eternity. The though of forgetting Andrew's smile, laugh, smell, forgetting everything was enough to break him completely. He has no choice but to force himself to dispel these thoughts. He carefully slid out of bed taking care not to wake the sleeping man. He silently wondered downstairs and into the living room. The house dark and still in its sleeping hours. He turned on a small lamp in the corner of the room opposite the door and walked over to the fire place. Taking the picture of Ianto off he sat on the sofa and cradled it delicately to his chest, closing his eyes in order to suppress the tears as the realisation of his earlier words set in. _"I love you, more than I love him," _echoing in his head. A solo teat fell form his right eye. He finally felt complete! Or as near to it as he ever would be. His heart was whole, just scarred. He had admitted what he had been fighting for so long. He was now ready to be a proper family, just for now, for as long as this life would last.

He sat there for well over an hour, only moving when he was happy he had sorted his thoughts out, allowed all his true feelings to be felt. He crept back upstairs, feeling as if the world had just been listed off his shoulders. Spooning against his lover he returned to sleep with a small, honest smile playing on his lips.


	13. Chapter 12

**Title: Understanding**

**Slash: Jack/Ianto Jack/OC Gwen/Rhys**

**Spoilers: Set 7 (Earth) Years after COE**

**Summary: It's hard to carry on without your lover; yet life goes on and love is never far away.**

**A/N Thanks to everyone who reads :)**

_Chapter twelve._

The alarm screeched a piercing sound that flooded through the silence of the house. Jack silenced the noise as his lover tried desperately to be engulfed by the warmth of the quilt, shutting out the morning light. Chuckling softly to himself Jack slid out of bed, and pressed a soft kiss to the top of Andrew's head, which was just about visible from the top of the quilt. Before leaving the room and heading to the kitchen switching the kettle on and getting out two cups; making them both a strong cup of coffee knowing his lover would need in order to get up.

After finishing their coffee's the men got ready to face the day; trapped in the silence of their own thoughts, completely comfortable in each others company they knew no words were needed. Grabbing their coats Andrew waited by the front door for Jack knowing he would want to see Cadi as much as himself. Jack walked over to Andrew and immediately threw his arms around him, feeling better having his man once again in his arms, where he belongs. Reluctantly the men pulled apart and put on their coats before leaving the house and making their way to Gwen's house to pick up Cadi.

The three of them walked quietly from their car to the park, Cadi skipping happily slightly ahead of the two lovers who had their hands entwined occasionally giving the other a reassuring squeeze silently saying that everything was going to be alright. As soon as she reached the park gate Cadi grabbed hold of Jack's hand and dragged him over to the big slide just off centre of the park. Andrew chuckled lightly at the eagerness of the young girl paired with the inner child of his lover increasing with every step. Wanting to leave the pair to their own devises knowing their bonding time had decreased dramatically in the past few weeks he sat on a bench in the far corner, content to watch as his family played excitedly, things were slowly returning to normal. He watched as other families played happily, as groups of kids integrated and made new friends, the tired mothers sat on a line of benches watching over their offspring ready for the first sign of danger.

His eyes were drawn into the trees beyond the safety fences of the park, a dark cloud hanging overhead of the tall trees. It was then he noticed a figure, a silhouette of a man standing just inside the border of the trees, watching over the park. Curiosity got the better of him and he made his way over to his partner and child at the swings who were closer to the trees, Cadi asking to be pushed higher and higher as her confidence grew with each swing, Jack eagerly obeying as a smile stretched further on his face, he had found his true happiness again.

"Having fun?" he asked as he stood beside the swings mindful of the other children round him.

"Papa push me now?" she asked excitedly, unlike other children of her age Cadi was sensitive to leaving others out, hating it when she saw it happen. Jack stepped back allowing his lover to take over, once in a steady rhythm with Cadi humming happily Andrew turn around and wrapped his arms around Jack, his mind still on the figure he'd realised was watching them.

"I think we're being watched" he whispered not wanting Cadi to hear, "There's someone in the trees."

Confused Jack glanced over to the said place and found that there was indeed someone watching over them. "Cadi honey I'm going to go get a drink would you like anything?"

"Juice please," she answered politely stopping the swing momentarily to allow her dad to press a soft kiss to her cheek.

Jack wondered out of the park and over to the small shop situated a field away next to the road. He picked up a carton of orange juice for Cadi and a bottle of water for him and Andrew to share, on his way round the shop he was unaware he was still being followed. It was only when he was queuing when he felt a presence lurking behind him somewhere, ignoring this he paid for the drinks and exited the shop waiting quietly around the side for someone else to exit, knowing if he really was being followed they would do so soon.

A few minutes later a middle-aged man wearing tight jeans and a black hoodie left the shop, glancing around Jack caught a glimpse of his bright eyes and oh too familiar face. _It can't be...that's impossible...not now...please not now. _The man then walked into the stillness of the trees, leaving Jack with a flood of confusion and interlinking, contrasting emotions. He made his way back to his family, his mind however absent.

Andrew noticed instantly that something wasn't quite right, his lovers eyes clouded, his body strained and his face shielded. Knowing he needed to talk to his lover he told Cadi she had five more minutes before they were leaving, smiling slightly at the soft pout he got in return as she reluctantly agreed.

The journey home was quiet the car stereo was on low, and Cadi slept lightly in the back. Andrew had offered to drive and Jack had just nodded, his mind was in turmoil, his silent wills that he was just seeing things playing on his mind. On the other hand he could have Ianto back, his Ianto; he studied he man beside him and contemplated on what this could all do to him. If it came down to would he ever be able to choose between them? His heart doubted it.

Andrew pulled up into the drive way and cut the engine, giving Jack's leg a reassuring squeeze he got out the car, opening the back door he carefully picked the youngster up and carried her to the front door. Jack took a moment to compose himself before he vacated the vehicle, once he had his front firmly in place he opened the front door for Andrew pressing a gentle kiss to his daughters head as he did so. The hard times weren't over yet.


	14. Chapter 13

**Title: Understanding**

**Slash: Jack/Ianto Jack/OC Gwen/Rhys**

**Spoilers: Set 7 (Earth) Years after COE**

**Summary: It's hard to carry on without your lover; yet life goes on and love is never far away.**

**A/N Thanks to everyone that as this on story alert, and thanks to trektotorch and specialfrancine for reviewing :) Hope you like this upadate.  
**

_Chapter thirteen. _

He was back, god it seemed so weird to be back, he didn't even know why he came back. One minute he was in Bournemouth the next he found himself heading back to Cardiff, back to the place he once called home, back to the person he ran away from. He needed to clear his head get his thoughts together, the problem with that is he always used to do it by the bay, he couldn't risk that, not now, not yet. Part of him wondered if Jack stuck around, another wondered what his life was like now. He began to contemplate his new life, thinking was it worth it or not? Since leaving he had travelled to various places, wanting to explore the world he had saved countless times. He ended up getting a job in a restaurant, after a few months he found himself the owner, despite this he still felt something missing. He never did take the retcon, he deserved to remember the pain he'd inflicted on Jack. He could never forget _him_, the man he loved, the _only_ man he'll ever love.

He found himself at the park where they first met, he ventured towards the trees lost in thought. A familiar sound caught his attention, a laugh he would never, could never forget. Turning around it was then that he saw him, his heart skipped a beat and his chest grew tight. He hadn't changed at all, he felt a pang in his heart at the sight of him with another man, and not only that he was with a child as well. Intrigued he hid himself in the trees, observing. As his confidence grew he found himself creeping closer and closer forwards. From the view now he could tell the child must be Jack's, she has his smile, and his unmistakable piercing blue eyes. He couldn't stop the jealousy that over took him when he saw the man from before join them; he hated it even more when he saw them share what could only be described as a loving embrace. _He's obviously got over me. _He looked at the floor for a second and when he looked back Jack was no longer there, he saw him heading towards the shop; it didn't register that he was following him until he found himself in the shop one aisle behind the man.

He didn't know what to do, should he go over to Jack and say hi? Walk passed him and act like he didn't know the guy? Or just stay hidden? By the time he had made his mind up his ex lover had left. Leaving the shop he took in his surroundings checking that he was clear before hurriedly making his way back to the trees.

Once there he Lent against one large tree and broke down into tears, years of suppressed emotions catching up with him, the truth that Jack had moved on stabbing him like a knife through his heart, ripping it out and tearing it into shreds. Yes he had had girlfriends since he left Jack, but they were never serious, never were any children ever involved. His body slid awkwardly to the floor as sobs rippled through his body, it was all his fault. He left Jack. He lost the one true love of his life. He abandoned any hope at a family. He ruined it all.

Pulling himself together he stood up and just walked. He had no idea where he was going or where he would end up; just walking through the streets of Cardiff. Exploring a place he once called home, a place he had once ran all over chasing aliens, exploring with Jacks hand in his, Jack's body pressed to his side. He shook his head to clear his thoughts, Jack was gone, and he had an amazing life without him.

He wondered down a quiet lane, the houses large and spread apart, the only sounds of birds singing sweetly into the ear and the noise of their wings beating as the glide through the almost clear blue skies. He stopped dead at the sight of a car, one he recognised from earlier at the park, he was certain it was the same as he clearly remembered the first few digits. His eyes wondered up the drive to the house it belonged to, the front window was open and he could see inside. Hesitating he let curiosity get the better of him and wandered up the drive looking in through the window. He saw the man that was with Jack at the park, a stab of jealousy went through his heart.

_What do I do? He's obviously happy now; I could ruin it all, again. This time it's not just me and him, there's another man and a child involved. Would I really be able to deal with the guilt of tearing an innocent child's family apart? How would I live with myself? But there he is its him, always him, and only him. God his smile, I've missed it so much, and his laugh... My life has been so empty, so broken since I walked out on him; I'm completely in love with him. How did this happen? There's no other man for me, no doubt about it. But he can have anyone, __**anyone**__ he wants. What if he doesn't want to know me anymore? What if he can't bear to be in the same room?_

His mind was out of control, for the life of him he couldn't work out what the right thing to do was, everything was so unclear, it was all so messed up. And it wasn't just Jack and the people he had here, he was risking a whole life of his own. He had someone back home waiting for his calls, missing him each day they were apart. Did he feel the same? Sure he missed her, like he'd miss any friend. And the sex was good but he wasn't sure whether he had any true feelings for her. She was a lovely person so full of life and happiness, maybe that was all he was attracted to? A life without complications and full of guaranteed happiness?

Ianto was startled from his thoughts as the front door opened, a tall, dark haired man stepped out. He looked calm but Ianto could see an internal battle raging from behind his eyes. The man walked straight over to Ianto and stopped in front of him.


	15. Chapter 14

**Title: Understanding**

**Slash: Jack/Ianto Jack/OC Gwen/Rhys**

**Spoilers: Set 7 (Earth) Years after COE**

**Summary: It's hard to carry on without your lover; yet life goes on and love is never far away.**

**A/N Sorry I havn't uploaded in a while, I've been ill and really not in the right emotional state to write (still not really at the moment but I'm giving it ago), lame excusses I know. Hope you like the update :) Reveiws plz???**

**Thank you for reading!**

_Chapter Fourteen _

Ianto braced himself for what was about to come, not knowing anything about the man before him. Oblivious to the fact the man knew pretty much everything there was to know about him.

Andrew managed to calm the war that was raging inside him; he was doing this for Jack. "Your names Ianto isn't it?" his Scottish accent conveying a friendly nature. Ianto just nodded unsure what to make out of everything. "Jack's told me a lot about you, and I mean a lot. Don't know why you're here or what your intentions are I just want to inform you of some facts before you see him." Ianto listened to everything the man had to say, wincing as he found out the true extent of never ending pain he had inflicted onto Jack. Once Andrew had finished everything he had to say there was a quiet pause as Ianto processed all the information. One question was playing on his mind above most.

"I'm assuming you and Jack are together?" Andrew nodded, "are you okay with me being here? He's told you everything and yet here you are talking to me in a civilised manner, I know if I was you talking wouldn't be at the top of things to do."

"I've always known there was a chance of you returning; seeing Jack in so much pain year after year when you didn't return tears me up inside. So in a way I'm glad you're here, there's a small chance you can make things better. On the other hand your responsible for every tear that man has shed, you broke his heart so badly and just as it's almost repaired you show up and his mind has flipped, he doesn't know what to do, he has no idea what he wants to happen. He daren't hope for anything." He took a deep breath before continuing, "his little girl Cadi knows you're someone special but she's too young to know anything, I'll try and keep her occupied but I thought I'd better let you know before she starts questioning you."

All Ianto could do was nod, his emotions were all over the place playing havoc with his mind. Andrew led Ianto into the house and through to the living room, Jack was sat on the sofa staring at the floor, his eyes red rimmed and puffy. He reassuringly squeezed Jacks shoulder before heading upstairs into Cadi's room to play dolls with her. Ianto chewed nervously on his bottom lip, shuffling forward slightly, the sight of the broken Captain shattering him deep within.

Eyes fixed firmly on the floor Jack gestured for Ianto to take a seat next to him; the Welshman moved stiffly to sit down next to Jack, he perched himself on the end of the three seater and fiddled with his hands nervously. Jack let out a calming breath before finally forcing himself to look at the man from his past. He had aged well, but he still looked so young compared to Jacks years, his eyes held untold stories and a siege of emotions. Clearing his throat he finally found his voice, "what are you doing here?" his voice cracked as his emotional reign wavered.

Ianto looked into Jacks eyes, the familiar blue he'd so often gazed into. "I...I...I came here to..." why _was _he there? Releasing a sigh he attempted to make some form of sense in an answer he really wasn't sure of. "I wanted to get away from where I was...I needed space; I never planned on coming here, back to Cardiff. But I ended up here...and then I saw you...and now I'm not sure of anything, not anymore. I mean, why am I here? What am I doing coming back to the life I've been running away from for so long?" Tears slid unnoticed down his cheeks, "seeing you in that park brought it all back, all the emotions, my inner feelings they've all come rushing back. I don't even know how I got here, to this house I was just walking...I hate myself everyday from leaving you but seeing you here...you have a family now, people that love you and give you so much more than I ever could. I don't know what to do I just...I..." he broke down into complete tears and buried his face into his hands, wishing he could change so many things. Seeing Jack again had made him realise exactly how stupid he had been for walking out on a life he could've made so perfect.

Jack lightly rested his hand on Ianto's knee, ignoring everything he felt from that small, simple contact. He had often wondered how Ianto was coping emotionally since he left, he wondered if he would just lock everything deep inside like he used to, shutting it away from the world. It was obvious from the way he had broken down now that he had never let anyone in. In that moment Jack realised just how lucky he was, yeah he had been through hell, but he had Andrew there, helping him through it all, being beside him, holding his hand, loving him no matter what he said. As Ianto continued to cry, his body shaking as the sobs became even more violent, Jack pulled him into an embrace, holding him against his chest, just hard enough to offer Ianto all the comfort he was in need of. "It's okay," Jack whispered into his ear.

The scent of Jack caused Ianto to cry even more, he felt like he had been so foolish, so stupid for letting everything he had, everything he loved go. Minutes passed and the tears slowly subsided. He kept repeating, _I done the right thing, it was for the best, my life is better, _over and over again in his head, pulling away from Jack he wiped his eyes and for the first time he looked around the place. His gaze came to rest upon the fireplace; he was shocked to see a picture of himself resting there. "I've always left a picture of you up, it's stupid I know but you'll always be a part of me." Jack shuffled closer to Ianto, "there's something I really need to tell you..." Ianto looked at him confusion and curiosity taking over from the heartbreak and despair that overwhelmed him previously. Taking a deep breath Jack told Ianto something he'd repeatedly dreamt about saying, scared of the reaction he was going to get in response. "Cadi's not just my daughter, she's yours as well."


	16. Chapter 15

**Title: Understanding**

**Slash: Jack/Ianto Jack/OC Gwen/Rhys**

**Spoilers: Set 7 (Earth) Years after COE**

**Summery: It's hard to carry on without your lover; yet life goes on and love is never far away.**

**A/N Sorry I havn't updated in a while...same excuse as last time sorry. Hope you like the new update. Reveiws please?**

_Chapter fifteen_

Ianto stared at Jack as if he had just grown another head; shock and confusion covering his face. "Wh...What do you mean?"

Jack looked into Ianto's eyes, showing him that his every word was the truth. "You know how I always used to joke around saying that I've been pregnant before?" Ianto just nodded, his eyes widening slightly. "Well for the most of it I wasn't lying; I have been pregnant before."

Ianto looked at him with intrigued eyes showing just a hint of confusion knowing that nothing could ever really surprise him after his job at torchwood. "But how is that possible?"

Jack let out a soft sigh, "It's too complicated for me to explain to you now but men from the 51st century have the ability to carry children. It's from a slight mutation in the biological make up of humans, it first happens in about 20 or so century's."

Ianto sat quiet for a moment letting everything sink in. "are you sure she's mine?" he shifted nervously.

"Positive! ...are you okay with this?" Jacks gaze wavered for a moment.

"Okay? I've just come back to the place I've been running away from for so long. I find the only bloody man I will ever love with someone else; _**and **_a child to then be informed that the child is in fact mine! Of course I'm not okay! She's what 3? 4? And we haven't been together in six years, how does that work?"

"She's not long turned four, two years after you left I realised I had really lost you and I couldn't take it, how could I just let you go like that? I was forced to give up looking for you and I could only think of one option." Jack shifted to get more comfortable. "I travelled back in time to see you... I wasn't thinking straight and all I wanted was to have a part of you with me forever. So I made sure you got me pregnant. And I wouldn't change what I did for anything in the world!"

They continued talking for over an hour before Andrew made an appearance, he stood nervously in the door ensure as to what the future would hold for him. He remembered Jack saying that he loved him more than Ianto but looking at them now he doubted it very much, he knew now Jack was just telling him what he wanted to hear. The curse that hung over his life since childhood was still prominently there, he was forever destined to be alone and torn apart. From his partners body language Jack could sense just how much all of this was affecting him, he knew that no matter what he said Andrew had always felt like second best. Without a word he walked to stand in front of the younger man and pulled him into a hug, whispering in his ear that it would be okay, the sort of thing you would do to a scared child who has suffered a horrific nightmare.

Ianto studied the pair and couldn't help but think of the people he had left back home; it was then that he realised how inconsiderate and selfish he had been to a particular person, whom he now realised did mean a great deal to him. As the wave of guilt passed over Ianto, Jack led Andrew over to the sofa sitting down between his lover and his ex lover. Taking hold of Andrews hand he gave it a reassuring squeeze. Andrew's focus was on the floor; he felt so out of place sat with these two men and was scared that Jack was about to leave him, just like everyone else had.

The silence grew beyond unbearable and Jack finally caved in, knowing if someone didn't say anything they would be like that forevermore. "How's Cadi doing?"

"She's confused but okay, she fell asleep so I put her in bed and left her. Are you going to tell her?" his voice was barely audible.

"It's not up to me if she gets told or not, that lies with you two, it's your lives it will be affecting more. Do you want her to know Ianto?" Jack studied both men carefully, he knew Andrew would go along with anything that was said and shut his feelings out; he also knew that Ianto would think about it reasonably and try to come up with something that was best for everyone especially that little girl.

"I... I' not sure I mean, she's happy with you two isn't she? How would she cope knowing? What would it do to her? What would it do to you?" He directed the last question to Andrew, not being able to imagine what the other man was going through. He knew one thing about him though, he has to be one hell of a man to change the infamous Captain Jack Harkness in the way that he has; and not only that, to be coping with the whole situation as calmly as he was.

"She knows I'm not her dad anyway, she always has, at first I allowed it to bother me but now...I'm just glad that I can have her in my life."

"Now that you know you have a daughter do you want her to be permanently in your life? We can sort something out if you do, she may never say out loud what she wants but I know she feels as if something is missing."

"If I were to become a permanent fixture in her life would you both be okay with it?" his eyes alternating between the two men. Jack looked at Andrew knowing that it was really about what he would feel comfortable with.

"Yeah, I mean it would be good for her to know both of her actual parents and I know she would love to spend time with you."

Jack gave a grateful smile to Andrew, he was happy that they were all calm and talking things through reasonably despite the tension clearly present in the atmosphere. "When she wakes up you can see her and we'll tell her." He decided. The others nodded in agreement.

"What are we going to do until then?" Andrew queried, "I can leave you two alone if you wish?"


	17. Chapter 16

**Title: Understanding**

**Slash: Jack/Ianto Jack/OC Gwen/Rhys**

**Spoilers: Set 7 (Earth) Years after COE**

**Summery: It's hard to carry on without your lover; yet life goes on and love is never far away.**

**A/N Sorry about the delay, hope the update is okay, reviews please?**

_Chapter Sixteen. _

"There's no need for that, if anyone needs to leave it me. I can't imagine what me being here is doing to you two." A silence passed over the three of them, the atmosphere relaxing slightly as they began to grow accustom to each other. Andrew, finally meeting the man his lover cared about more than anything; Jack, his wish for the last six years had finally come true with many unforeseen complications; and Ianto, in a place he once knew, with a man that once loved him and his new life.

"You've met my family, seen my life now and still haven't told me what's happened to you, where you've been, where you ended up."

"I started off just travelling around, spent just over a year exploring the places I've always wanted to see, getting a taste of so many different lives, not just in the UK all around the world. Something didn't feel right though, I needed to stop travelling, I couldn't escape the feeling that I was just running it completely wore me out. I came across a town in the south of England, Bournemouth, been living there ever since. Managed to get a job in a restaurant; nothing big just weekends waiting tables. Just under a year later purely by chance I find myself running the place." Jack smiled, happy that Ianto had managed to make something in his life, something he clearly enjoyed judging by the way his eyes subtly lit up as he spoke of this.

"I swear everyone has a better job than mine!" Andrew joked, the tension in the room lifted slightly more as the three men chuckled lightly.

"When are you going back?" Jack asked, his hand coming to rest comfortingly on Andrew's knee.

"I don't know, I mean I didn't even know I was leaving until I reached Cardiff, I hadn't told anyone where I was going I just sort of left...I'll ring them in minute and if everything's okay I'll stay in a hotel tonight and head back in the morning."

"We'll go and make everyone lunch and let you call home," Andrew and Jack left the lounge and walked into the kitchen, closing the door Jack wrapped his arms firmly around the other man and buried his head deep into his neck. Andrew fixed his arms around Jack's waste and pressed a kiss to the top of his head, burrowing his nose into Jacks hair. They pulled back just enough to kiss each other, softly at first until it got more and more heated, Jack's hands slid up Andrew's back and cupped his neck, Andrew dipped his hands lower and rested them on Jack's arse pulling the man closer to him. In that moment all that was needed was to feel each other and know that everything would work out in the end and be alright. The reaffirmations of love; helping both men in their individual ways.

Ianto took out his phone and debated who to call; he knew who he should call but he didn't know if he could face the reality of what he was doing to that person or not. Sighing he knew the choice was already out of his control, he dialled the number and paced the room as the ringing tone set in.

"_Ianto? Where the hell are you?" _The woman on the other end of the phone sounded worried.

"Calm down, I'll be back tomorrow, I'll explain it all to you then."

"_What do you mean "I'll be back"? Where are you? Why didn't you tell me you were leaving?"_

"I don't have time to explain it now, I'll see you tomorrow and tell you everything then, I promise."

"_Okay..." _she sighed, obviously unhappy at Ianto's vagueness.

"Take care of yourself and I'll see you at lunch tomorrow at our usual spot." Seeing Jack walk into the room he ended the conversation. "I've got to go now, see you then." With that he hung up and sighed, running a hand through his hair as a wave of stress surpassed him.

"Everything okay," Jack couldn't help the concern that bubbled up inside him. Ianto just nodded. "Lunch is ready."

Ianto followed Jack into the dining room where the table had been set for four, an assortment of food was spread across the table; he couldn't believe how much Jack had changed. It was hard to believe his Captain was now a domesticated family man, in fact it was impossible to believe, what on Earth had happened to change him this much? Jack pulled out a chair and gestured for Ianto to sit on it. He sat down giving Jack a grateful smile which was happily returned. Jack walked around the table and took the seat opposite him, just as he sat down Andrew and Cadi walked into the room, the bottom of her sleeves were wet and Andrews top had water splattered over it. He had had fun trying to get Cadi to wash her hands by the looks of things. Andrew helped Cadi into the seat next to Ianto and pushed her in. She sat quietly and studied the man next to her, silently tracking his features and taking in his build, and a smell she thought she recognised from somewhere. It smelt of home.

Ianto shifted uncomfortably, he didn't know anything about the little girl next to him other than the fact she was his. Ten minutes passed as they ate in silence, until Cadi found the courage to speak. "Ianto looks sad," she stated. She looked over at Jack with innocent eyes, "What's the matter with everyone Daddy? I don't like it when you're sad." Jack and Ianto shared a guilty look, the awareness of what their unconscious actions were doing to the young child stabbing them deep within.

Seeing the discomfort in the other two men Andrew answered on behalf of Jack, "everyone's just getting stressed over nothing; it'll all be okay tomorrow when we've all had some sleep." Jack looked appreciatively at Andrew, thankful for the never ending support he's always given him. "Did you have fun round Auntie Gwen's last night?" Cadi happily went into detail about all the fun she's had the previous night. Even Ianto couldn't help but smile at the joy in the little girls' voice, the way her face lit up as she got more exited. The rest of lunch passed with light conversation, the three adults getting a glimpse of what life could bring in the not-too-distant future.


	18. Chapter 17

**Title: Understanding**

**Slash: Jack/Ianto Jack/OC Gwen/Rhys **

**Spoilers: Set 7 (Earth) Years after COE**

**Summery: It's hard to carry on without your lover; yet life goes on and love is never far away.**

**A/N I managed to get over some of the writer's block so here's another update **** Reviews please? **

_Chapter Seventeen._

Jack watched with a small smile as Ianto played with Cadi, they had bonded instantly. He left the room and joined Andrew in the kitchen whom was busy cleaning after their lunch. Jack wrapped his arms around Andrew's waste and pressed a soft kiss to the back of his neck. "Need a hand?" Andrew twisted in the other mans arms and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips.

"I'm nearly done here anyway. I've been thinking..." He turned to face Jack.

"Yeah?" he queried, unsure as to where this was leading.

"Isn't it a bit stupid Ianto staying in a hotel over night? I mean why doesn't he stay here? Cadi gets on fine with him and knowing her I bet when she finds out she won't want him to leave. It's not like we don't have the room he can stay in the spare bedroom."

Jack stood silent for a moment, no matter how much he tried to work this man out he was always surprising him. "Are you sure you wouldn't mind?"

"I'm fine with it if you are." He resumed cleaning putting the freshly cleaned dishes and cups away into the cupboards.

Ianto couldn't help smiling as he played with the small child; not too long ago he had ruled out ever being able to have children, god how much things had changed in just a few years. At first he'd been unsure as to how to react with her, not knowing what he should do or how she acted. After five minutes of playing with the cuddly animals he had picked up a lot about her. He noticed how she favoured the small lion with a brightly coloured nose over the giraffes, teddies and cats; but also that her favourite of the lot appeared to be a medium sized white tiger. From the way she interacted with the toys he could sense she was a bright child, also that she was a caring and sensitive child. He helped her group them into families and was then designated to play with the dogs, monkeys and cats.

Only the tiger looked slightly aged the rest were in perfect condition, as if they'd never met a child in their life. It intrigued Ianto; he wanted to know what had caused her to treat everything with such care. He remembered the cousins he had, no toy lasted more than a week, and the place was permanently a mess. When he was younger and he used to play with his older sister the toys looked used or "well loved" as his mum used to refer to it. He thought back to lunch and how polite and advanced she had been. He couldn't believe she was only four.

It was then that Jack and Andrew entered the room; he told Cadi he'd be back in a minute and walked over to the other men. "We've come to a decision, and I don't care what you think its happening, I don't want any arguing!" Jack started.

"We want you to spend the night here; it would make more sense than paying out for a hotel."

Ianto looked between the two men, "are you sure?" they nodded.

"You said you walked here, where's your car? I can take you to pick it up while Andrew sorts out the room."

"Oh I left it at the park. I just sort of forgot about it...Are you sure you don't mind? I can always walk to it"

"Don't be stupid! I'll take you it's no problem."

Jack and Ianto said a brief goodbye to Cadi telling her they'd be back soon before leaving; once they were gone Andrew ensured himself that she would be okay for a few minutes before heading upstairs and putting fresh bedding on the bed in the spare room, it had only ever been used once before. After he was happy with it he walked back down stairs and watched Cadi happily playing with her toys, a small tear rolled unnoticed down his cheek as he thought about life without her and Jack.

Jack and Ianto arrived back at the house in just under half an hour, almost the second they walked through the door they were ordered onto the sofa by a persistent four year old. She got Andrew to put on her favourite Disney film and climbed into her daddy's lap snuggling into his chest. Ianto couldn't help but smile at the sight of them. At some point during the film both Ianto and Andrew had found themselves cuddling into Jack. One of his arms was wrapped around Andrew's waist and the other around Ianto's shoulder. Andrew had one arm loosely over Cadi effectively hugging both of them; Ianto was sat on a slight diagonal, with his head resting softly on Jack's shoulder. As the credits rolled up the three adults stretched before Andrew muttered something about dinner and walked out of the room and into the kitchen. Ianto watched as Andrew left and knew that he was leaving to give them a chance to talk to Cadi; his stomach flipped as emotions washed over him.

Jack knew that now was the time to tell his child the truth, "Cadi sweetheart there's something we need to tell you."

The young child looked up to her dad, "What is it daddy?" her innocent eyes tinted with worry as she searched those of her dad's, so many hidden secrets, so many different lives.

Taking a deep breath Jack continued, "You know how Ianto is special to me?" she nodded in response looking briefly at the nervous man sat next to them. "He's also someone special to you, he..."

"He's my other dad," she stated. The two men stared at her in disbelief.

"How did you know that?" Ianto's voice was soft and slightly broken.

"You're like dad and papa, you smell like home. Daddy keeps pictures of you near pictures of him and he always gets sad at this time of year and papa tells me not to worry but I know that it's something to do with you." She shifted off of Jacks lap and wrapped her small arms around Ianto.

Slightly stunned Ianto hugged the young girl, _his_ little girl back; he buried his nose into her hair and had to fight to keep all his overpowering emotions at bay.


	19. Chapter 18

**Title: Understanding**

**Slash: Jack/Ianto Jack/OC Gwen/Rhys **

**Spoilers: Set 7 (Earth) Years after COE**

**Summery: It's hard to carry on without your lover; yet life goes on and love is never far away.**

**A/N Sorry I haven't posted in a while and sorry its so short…Trying to sort out a time to fit writing in with my A Level work…I will get there! Reviews please?**

_Chapter Eighteen._

Ianto laid in the unfamiliar bed, his eyes firmly open fixed on the ceiling above him. So many thoughts rushing through his head. His life had changed completely in one single day. Before long his mind came to rest on one figure, a woman from his life back come, he contemplated on what affect this would all have on her. He debated on what he should do, he'd messed her around from the day they met and yet she was still there, always willing to help and support him. The second he was back in Bournemouth he was going to put it right! He told himself firmly. Eventually he managed to power his mind down enough to let sleep take over.

Jack lay on his side watching as Andrew slept a peaceful sleep. He studied the man's features carefully, the familiar body that he's worshipped so many times. Andrew was led on his back, on arm under Jack, his hand lightly gripping Jack's side; a reassurance his partner was still there with him. Jack let out a quiet sigh, just as his life had settled down into a routine his world was turned upside down again. He couldn't believe how calm and supportive Andrew was being, Jack really didn't deserve him. He thought of Ianto down the hall; he had hardly changed in appearance yet he had changed so much, he could tell that Ianto's life was all he was telling him, he knew he was hiding something. A smile spread across his face at how happy he was going to make Cadi, they were already getting on so well. He snuggled up against Andrew and let himself drift to sleep, his last thought of how they would work it all out as a family.

Cadi slowly made her way downstairs wiping the sleep out of her eyes; she spotted Ianto on the sofa quietly sipping his coffee and immediately went over and cuddled against his side. Ianto carefully put his coffee on the table and pulled the young child into his arms holding her into his arms. He couldn't help but smile as Cadi buried her face against his chest gripping his top lightly. Jack and Andrew walked in holding hands and they two smiled at the sight of their daughter, the three men shared a look all knowing that they would work everything out. Sensing her daddy's presence Cadi released Ianto and ran over to him, Jack skill fully picked her up causing her to giggle as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Sleep well kiddo?" Jack asked her as Andrew pressed a kiss to her messed up hair and joined Ianto on the couch.

"Yeah, I was playing with Minnie mouse!" she replied excitedly, a grin the exact image of Jacks dominated her face.

Jack chuckled softly and carefully lowered her to the floor. "What would you like for breakfast?"

"Toast please." She asked politely as she climbed onto Andrew's lap. Andrew helped her and wrapped his arms around her tiny waist. Jack went into the kitchen and made Cadi her toast. He took the plate of cut up pieces of toast into the lounge, breakfast was the only meal of the day that could be eaten in the lounge due to the fact they ate at different times and more often than not Jack wouldn't have anything more than a cup of strong coffee. This morning all three adults had a cup of coffee, made by Ianto, Andrew was impressed at the quality and didn't realise how good coffee could actually taste when made in the right way.

The four of them spent just under an hour watching TV with Cadi talking quietly about how they were going to work things out. They had come to the decision that for now Ianto would come up to the every other weekend and any other days he had free to spend some quality time bonding with Cadi; at the weekends he would stay the night and leave for home the next day depending on how soon he needed to be back home. They also agreed to do this for 2 months and see how things went from there.

When it reached 10am Ianto knew he had to leave, he said goodbye to Cadi and promised he'd see her again soon, seeing how upset she was he promised he would call her later as well before she went to bed. After Andrew had said goodbye he took Cadi upstairs to help her get ready leaving Jack and Ianto to have some privacy.

Ianto shifted nervously on the spot, chewing his lip slightly. Jack pulled Ianto's body against his, realising for the first time in years how their bodies matched perfectly. Ianto buried his face into Jack's neck, breathing in his comforting scent as he battled to keep control over his emotions. Jack rested his head gently on Ianto's, smiling slightly at the fact that he still smelt of coffee. After a few minutes the men pulled apart, Jack pressed a kiss to Ianto's cheek, "Safe journey, I'll see you soon. Don't worry about anything; it'll all be alright, okay?"

Ianto nodded, his mind completely clouded. "I'll speak to you tonight." They both said goodbye and Ianto began the three and a half hour journey home, his mind racing, he wondered how pissed off his friend was going to be. He turned up the radio to block his mind out, singing along to the music and allowing his mind to become blank, now wasn't the best time to start worrying about everything, he reasoned.


	20. Chapter 19

**Title: Understanding**

**Slash: Jack/Ianto Jack/OC Gwen/Rhys **

**Spoilers: Set 7 (Earth) Years after COE**

**Summery: It's hard to carry on without your lover; yet life goes on and love is never far away.**

**A/N: Sorry I'm useless...Will update soon...I hope. Please review **

_Chapter nineteen_

He reached Bournemouth at just gone quarter past one; he texted his friend a quick message saying he was going to be a few minutes late as he reached his house. He had a quick shower and got ready to leave, looking at the clock he sighed, it was already 1.40pm, he was running ten minutes late already. With one last check on his appearance he left his house and drove the short distance to a café, preparing to face the music at his impromptus disappearing act. As he walked in the door he immediately saw his friend sat at their usual table; she had already ordered his coffee and it sat there steaming on the table just waiting for him. He felt guilt wash over him; how could he have just left her without any notice when she obviously cares so much for him?

She had spent the whole day worrying about Ianto; he hadn't turned up at work, there was no note no message to explain his absence, his phone was turned off. She sat in the café staring at the strong coffee in front of her. Lost deep in thought. She knew that Ianto was only with her for the sex, that he didn't have any feelings like that for her, but she couldn't help the love she felt towards him. Hearing the door open she glanced up, she had to suppress a smile as Ianto made his way over, she could smell his scent from across the cafe and it was enough to make her heart flip. All her anger towards him for leaving without a word just melted away. Ianto nervously took the seat beside her, pausing briefly to kiss her on the cheek before taking a sip from his coffee. "Scarlett, I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have left like that." She put a hand up to silence him.

"I'm not going to pretend that I'm not angry at you, 'cause I'm fuming! Do you realise how worried I was about you?" Ianto flinched internally at her tone; she sighed before continuing, "thank you for calling me though...for letting me know you were okay." Ianto looked to the floor ashamed, he'd just abandoned her, made her worry like hell and he was forgiven like that! He knows it's wrong what he's doing to her; it was then he made the decision, he was going to let her in and tell her everything. For the first time he was going to be completely honest with her, even with the risk of losing her, because he couldn't go on lying like this anymore.

"Can we go somewhere more...private?" he glanced at her nervously.

"Sure, want to go back to mine?" he nodded in reply; they both drained the rest of their coffee's before getting up. Scarlett got into her car worrying about what he wanted to say to her; part of her feared that he was going to say he had found someone else and whatever it was that was between them was over. She forced the negative thoughts out of her mind and concentrated on the short drive home.

Ianto stood outside the cafe for a moment and watched as she got in her car, he shakily got into his own; the realisation of what he was about to do had dawned on him. He followed her home; it was only a few streets away, with no traffic it took under five minutes.

She held her front door open for him; he took it with a grateful smile, somehow managing to suppress his emotions into keeping a calm exterior. "Coffee?" she asked, trying to break the ever-growing tension.

"Want me to make it?"

"Please?" the both broke into a smile, the tension dissipating greatly until it was almost forgotten. Ianto automatically made his way around her kitchen, expertly using her coffee machine; he smiled slightly at the memory of the day he'd given it to her. Before she'd had a cheap and pretty useless one, he knew she'd always wanted a decent one so last year for her birthday he'd given this one to her, top of the range. They carried their coffees into the next room and sat next to each other on the sofa. Neither said a word, Scarlett waiting for Ianto to be ready to talk.

Ianto drank half his coffee before setting it down on the black coffee table situated in front of the sofa. He turned to face her unsure of how to begin; scared of what reaction he could get. Despite how well he knew her he had no idea as to how she was going to react when she found out the truth about him and his past. "I...I haven't been completely honest with you...there's some things I need to tell you." Ianto's gaze faltered for a second; Scarlett gestured for him to go on. "Six years ago I lived in Cardiff, I worked for Torchwood," Scarlett rolled her eyes at this, Ianto knew she knew about torchwood her sister Iris had been part of Torchwood One and was among the deceased from Canary Wharf. He went on to explain why he had left and his relationship with Jack. He then described to her what had happened the day before; unsure of how to tell her how he had a child with Jack he decided to miss out the fact that Cadi was his daughter.

Scarlett listened quietly to everything Ianto told her, she kept her facial expression blank and guarded and allowed everything he was saying to sink in. She looked into his eyes with tears in her own; Ianto saw how upset she was and knew it was only a fraction of what she was feeling inside. He pulled her into his arms and held her as close to him as possible as she clung onto his top; her face burring into his neck as she allowed the scent of him to calm her, felt the warmth of his body against hers.


	21. Chapter 20

**Title: Understanding**

**Slash: Jack/Ianto Jack/OC Gwen/Rhys **

**Spoilers: Set 7 (Earth) Years after COE**

**Summery: It's hard to carry on without your lover; yet life goes on and love is never far away.**

**A/N: Sorry about it being so long since I last updated, real life is a pain in the backside; went through a hell of a year, a friend and a close family members has passed away, and I've been studying hard to try and pass my A-levels. I will try to post at least every month. Thank you to everyone that reads this, and that is still following me despite nearly a year's gap in writing. **

_Chapter twenty _

Jack watched as Ianto drove away; he felt a secure pair of arms wrap around his waist and leant back into the warmth and comfort of the embrace. He turned around just enough to press a gently kiss to Andrew's lips, which was happily returned. Time stood still for the two men as the world just melted away and all that was left was them, their comfort and reassurance to each other; the silent pleas asking for everything to be alright. Reluctantly they pulled apart; Jack let out a shaky breath, part of him not believing what had happened over the last 24 hours. Andrew took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze; he guided him to the sofa gently pushing him down and then sat down. Jack turned onto his side and buried his face into Andrew's neck, silent tears ripping from his eyes with violent stings. Kissing the top of his lover's head Andrew sent a text to Gwen telling her that Jack wouldn't be in today and he'd get her to call later as they had some things to talk about.

Cadi slowly made her way downstairs and immediately picked up on her dads upset even without seeing him. She tentatively climbed onto Andrew's lap and wrapped her small arms around her dad, pressing soft kisses to his temples. Andrew gave her a weak smile and rubbed her back reassuringly; being as bright as she was she understood that her daddy needed to cry and let his emotions out as much as it pained her to see, she also knew that her dad needed as much support as possible; even though she couldn't comprehend exactly what had upset him.

Jack cried harder at the guilt of letting his daughter see him in such a fragile state, he clung onto both of them trying desperately to sort his head out. It felt like an age had passed by the time his tears had subsided. As his mind began to clear he felt aware of a wave of calmness being pushed towards him, he slowly pulled away from the soothing security of Andrew's body and looked quizzically between his daughter and his partner. Andrew looked concerned, "what's wrong, well apart from the obvious?" It was then that Jack clicked; he looked down at his daughter whom was now cuddling into Andrew's chest, lightly clutching his dark blue top in her small hands. She had her eyes closed and her shallow breathing indicated that at some point she had drifted into sleep.

"I think Cadi's got the same empathetic abilities as myself, she's projecting love, calmness and care..."

A small smile played on Andrew's lips, "it's taken you this long to work that out?" he pressed a soft kiss to his lovers lips, "I told Gwen you'd call her later, maybe it'd be better if she came 'round, give you two a chance to talk properly?" he suggested in a careful yet serious tone.

Jack nodded in agreement and pulled Andrew in for another kiss, he ran his tongue across Andrew's lip; Andrew's mouth opened willingly and soon the two men's tongues danced together, soft hands caressing each other's body; however both men remained mindful of Cadi between them. After several minutes the men pulled apart breathlessly,; lips swollen and foreheads resting together, as they just gazed into each other's eyes, seeing right down into their souls. The world trapped firmly outside the safety of their house.

They stayed in the embrace for nearing an hour, a comfortable silence over the house as the two occupants processed their thoughts. Somehow the two had ended up half lying down against the arm of the sofa; Ianto had his feet on the floor with Scarlett half on his lap. It was at that moment that Charlie, Scarlett's pet Springer spaniel wandered in and flopped himself down, straight onto Ianto's feet. Ianto looked down at the dog who was staring back up at him; and he was certain that if a dog could truly smile Charlie would be now. Charlie rested his head onto Ianto's knee, his eyes begging to be fussed. Sighing gently Ianto complied and scratched the soppy lump behind one of his ears. Scarlett reached out her hand to stroke behind his other ear, his tail thumping onto the laminate flooring indicating that he was enjoying all the attention.

Scarlett pulled her hand away and sat up; looking at the floor she mumbled something about coffee before disappearing off into the kitchen taking their empty coffee cups with her. Charlie watched her leave; his tail stilled for a few moments before he turned his head back to smile at Ianto. Ianto gave a small smile to the dog and began talking quietly to him. "What are we going to do with her eh? Do you think she can forgive and accept me back in her life? Does she still want to be with me after all this?" the dog placed his paw lightly onto Ianto's knee, "okay I'll go and talk to her." He ruffled Charlie's fur affectionately before standing up, stretching and walking into the kitchen. Charlie walked by his side and sat himself on Ianto's feet the second he stood still, pressing his head into Ianto looking up at him; this familiar act caused Ianto to chuckle slightly as he resumed petting the dog.

He looked over at Scarlett observing her as she expertly used the coffee machine, after a few moments he found his voice. "Are we...are we okay?"

She turned to face him and nodded slightly, "If you still want to be with me... I can understand if you don't and if you'd rather go back to Jack... or if you just want a break from..." Ianto walked over to her pushing Charlie out of the way and silenced her ramble with a kiss, wrapping his arms around her slim figure. She kissed back, the kiss soft yet reassuring, her hand pressed lightly onto his neck the other resting at the base of his spine.


	22. Chapter 21 ADULT

**Title: Understanding**

**Slash: Jack/Ianto Jack/OC Gwen/Rhys Ianto/OC **

**Spoilers: Set 7 (Earth) Years after COE**

**Summary: It's hard to carry on without your lover; yet life goes on and love is never far away.**

**A/N: So sorry for how long it has taken me to write more of this story, I have recently finished sixth form and since then I have gotten back into writing this. Hope you guys still want to read it. Feedback is loved and helps me to write more. **

**I want to say a big thank you to my friend Tasha, as she has been a huge help in getting me back into the swing of writing and has volunteered to proof read everything :) **

_Chapter twenty one- __**ADULT**_

Ianto drew back slowly as they gazed into each other's eyes. "I want you" he pressed a kiss to her forehead, "let me show you how much..." he took her hand and slowly led her to the bedroom, giving her a chance to stop him and back away. He closed the bedroom door after her and pushed her against it in a passionate kiss, her lips responding eagerly. He ran his hands sensually down her body, pushing them up inside her top stroking over her stomach and back; causing her to shudder. He lightly scratched his nails over the bottom of her spine evoking her to bite onto his lip, earning her self a moan from Ianto. He broke the kiss, kissing his way across her jaw to her neck, sucking and nibbling on her sensitive spot as she tilted her head to the side in order to give him more access. He rotated his hips rubbing his already aching and growing cock into her as a moan slipped through her red moist swollen lips. Her hands squeezed his firm ass and he bit down on her neck in response. After grinding against each other for a few moments Ianto picked her up swiftly and carried her to the bed, gently laying her on top of it. He led over her body keeping all his weights on his knees either side of her and one hand placed by the side of her neck, leaning down he brushed his lips against hers, the kiss was soft, passionate but loving a complete contrast to moments before. Ianto gradually raised her top, moving to press light kisses to the newly revealed skin, caressing every inch with his lips, making his way down her body. He undid her trousers and pulled them off dropping them carelessly on the floor.

Before long they were both naked, purple love bites scattered over Scarlett's torso. He dipped and twirled his tongue inside her navel running his hands up and down the inside of her thighs as she writhed beneath him, soft moans escaping her, urging him on. Removing one hand from her leg he brushed his fingers between her delicate folds, the wetness coating his fingers, a gasp escaped her lips as he brushed it over her sensitive exposed clitoris. He slowly trailed his tongue down, taking time to tantalize her soft skin, he soon reached her folds and began teasing her clitoris with the tip of his tongue tasting her sweet juices; at the same time he trailed his fingers down and circled them around her tight opening. Scarlett's hands clutched tightly around the bedding as over-powering sensations flooded through her body. Ianto's tongue continued to lap against her as he slowly pushed to fingers into her; he moved up to kiss her, swallowing her moans of pleasure as he moved his fingers in and out of her, fucking her slowly with them as he pushed his tongue into her mouth, tangling it with her own allowing her to taste herself on him.

Ianto began scissoring his fingers, soon adding another opening her up ready for him. Breaking the kiss he leaned over to the bedside table, opened the drawer and pulled out a condom; as he did so Scarlett wrapped her hand around his cock and slowly stroked it in time with his fingers moving inside her. Moaning form the feel of her hand Ianto kissed her passionately before pulling away and ripping the packet open with his teeth. Scarlett removed her hand from Ianto's throbbing rock hard cock to allow him to put the condom on; she whimpered at the loss as he removed his fingers and shifted lining his cock up at her dripping entrance. Gripping her hips he slowly pushed his way inside not stopping till he was ball deep. Scarlett arched off the bed moaning loudly at the new sensation, the feeling of his cock filling her completely. She wrapped her legs around his waist as they began a slow rhythm, pulling him as deep as possible with every thrust. Ianto threw his head back moaning the sensations driving him mad.

Leaning down he connected his lips with hers, swallowing each other's moans their tongues danced together. The pace increased and the room was filled with the sound of heavy breathing and moans. Before long they both felt the need to release, quickening the pace their moans grew in urgency. Ianto felt Scarlett let go, her body clenching rhythmically around his cock sending him to his own climax, shouting her name. Falling forwards he stole sweet kisses in between their pants. He carefully slid out and discarded the condom before flopping down beside her. They both found themselves drifting into a contented sleep.

Andrew watched from the window as Jack pulled out of the drive on his way to work, as Cadi lay on the sofa fast asleep, the excitement of the past twenty four hours had taken its toll. He let out a soft sigh and hoped that Jack would have a peaceful day; knowing that his lover would more than likely end up injured at some point during the course of the day. He quietly walked over to Cadi and scooped her up into his arms, carefully carrying her to her bed without waking her up; he gently laid her into her bed, a smile gracing his face as he tucked the sleeping infant into bed. He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead and brushed her soft hair out of her face before making his way downstairs. He stood in the kitchen, hands pressed against the work top eyes closed shut, trying to blank his mind out.

_This is it; I've lost them both now. Why was I ever so stupid as to get my hopes up and believe that I could have a go at being part of a real, proper family? They are so special, and worth so much more than me, they deserve to be with him. He can give them all the happiness they deserve; he can give them a proper family. He's Cadi's blood, it's not right to keep them apart. I'll do it, I'll let them go, and I'll let them have all the happiness they truly ought to have. My uncle was right; I am a worthless, useless, waste of space who will never find true happiness. It was good while it lasted, but I know I have to leave. _

Tears streamed down his face as the voice in his head kept reminding him of how he was worthless, how everything bad in his life was his entire fault. Half an hour passed before he was cut away from his mind by the buzzing of his phone. He straightened up, wiped his eyes and took out his phone. Jack had sent him a text. The rift predictor was quiet for the rest of the day so was going to the shop before coming home to make them all dinner.

He took a few moments to compose himself before making his way up the stairs to check on Cadi. Pushing open her door he found her quietly playing with her teddies, he smiled at the sight of the young child, he had never know a kid to be as quiet and content as her. Cadi stopped playing and turned to Andrew before running over to him and hugging his legs, "I love you papa." Andrew picked her up and held her close to him.

"I love you two sweetheart," he knelt down before her and wrapped his arms around her; he closed his eyes and smelt the scent of Cadi, his Cadi. But she wasn't truly his, and that was the problem, he loved this girl as if she was his own, and now he's going to lose her, lose them both. "Daddy's on his way home, do you want to clean away your toys then come and help me get the kitchen ready for Daddy to cook you your dinner?" Cadi nodded excitedly before rushing off to clean her toys away.


	23. Chapter 22

**Title: Understanding**

**Slash: Jack/Ianto Jack/OC Gwen/Rhys **

**Spoilers: Set 7 (Earth) Years after COE**

**Summary: It's hard to carry on without your lover; yet life goes on and love is never far away.**

**A/N: Please could you let me know if you are still following this story, unless I hear that people still want to read this I won't be posting anymore. Hope if you are reading this you enjoy the update :)  
**

_Chapter twenty two_

Jack's mind had been in turmoil for hours, he was sat in his office, watching as his team carried out their daily routines, but the mind was not with his eyes. Ianto had comeback, he had found him, his heart still skipped a beat at his name, and how can he still be in love with a man that he had been with so long ago? Why was there always an exception where Ianto is concerned? Jack signed as he clasped his hands together resting his elbows on the desk and his head against his hands. He loved Andrew; that much was true, he had always found there to be something special about him. But on the other hand there was Ianto, beautiful Ianto**. **He screwed his eyes shut in frustration and confusion. Why was this happening to him? He had no choice but to let Ianto go, he thought he had already done so but seeing Ianto had brought it all back. Ianto had moved on, and so had he, Ianto needed to be a permanent part of his life again, not for his sake, but for Cadi's. And that's all he would be, Cadi's dad, no more, no less. He spared a moment to try and imagine how Andrew was feeling; he already had insecurities beaten into him from his past.

Jack decided that the best thing to do would be to prove to Andrew just how much he loved him and that the presence of Ianto changes nothing. Jack had a new life now, he was happy to live with Andrew, and that's the way it should stay. At least that's what his brain was telling him. He sent Andrew a quick text, said goodbye to Charlie and Gwen who were busy sorting out paperwork and writing reports at their workstations and headed out of the hub. He got into the SUV and set out to the nearest supermarket, determined to make things right.

Jack pulled up at home and let himself in; he put his keys on the side and shed his coat hanging it up behind the door. He wandered through to the kitchen and wrapped his arms around Andrew who was staring out of the window, pressing a soft kiss to his neck Jack noticed the tear tracks stained across his cheek and held him that bit tighter. He needn't ask if he were okay, Jack knew full well the cause of his upset, he felt terrible for putting him through this ordeal. Holding the man in his arms Jack realised how much he owed to this man, and became determined that he would not leave him. He was never going to hurt this man. "I love you, never forget that," the whisper was so quiet Andrew nearly missed it; the words broke him out of his train of thought and brought him back to reality, back to Jack.

Andrew moved out of Jacks embrace, he looked into the deep blue pools of Jacks eyes and found some level of reassurance and love in them, just enough to pick him up to carry on with the rest of the day. He had no other choice than to live each day as it came, worrying about the future will get him nowhere.

Ianto woke to an empty bed, sitting up he noticed a steaming cup of coffee on the bedside table. Pulling on his clothes Ianto is drawn to the kitchen by a delicious irresistible aroma. The timer on the oven indicating five minutes until dinner, he wondered outside where he found relaxing Scarlett led on the grass with Charlie nuzzled at her side. He slowly made his way over and sits down beside her placing a soft kiss on her cheek as he did so. "We are okay aren't we?" His voice cracking with emotion. Scarlett replied with a small reassuring smile and a slight nod. She returned her focus back to Charlie who now had his head resting on her knee, pleading with his eyes for fuss and attention.

The timer on the oven beeped, breaking through the tension full silence that had fallen over the couple. Pressing a soft kiss to Charlie's head Scarlett rose, wordlessly making her way into the kitchen and plating up the food. As Ianto walked through the door she was placing the last plate onto the table, he gently took hold of her wrists and tugged her to look at him. He internally winced at the heartache he had caused to swim in her eyes; he had never seen her like this, as she was normally so happy and full of life. _What have a I done to her, how could I have allowed myself to get so close to someone when I know that all I will ever do is hurt them. Even Jack is so much happier without me; he has a proper life now. I need to make this right! I need to take away the hurt that I have caused. I need to stop blocking my own feelings and ignoring hers. _

He pulled her in close and wrapped himself around her, a protective blanket; she became overwhelmed by him, he was completely surrounding her and for the faintest of moments she thought that he may have dropped his guard, allowed himself to feel something. But she knew that it was all in her mind. He would never feel any true emotions for her. "Stop over thinking, I'm here with you now because I want to be with _you_." His soft welsh accent filling the room. Breaking the embrace he pressed a soft kiss to her lips and pulled out her chair. Shaking the negativity from her mind Scarlett smiled at him, focusing on the hope that things could work out after all. They tucked into dinner neither saying a word.

The next hour whizzed by, Ianto looked at the time and made a mental note that he needed to phone a special little girl in half an hour before her bedtime. He wondered if he should tell Scarlett about Cadi, she knew of Torchwood and was not completely closed minded. He decided against it, he didn't want to say anything more to ruin things between them even further. He looked over at Scarlett who was huddled on the other side of the two seater, it was not unusual for the two to be sat so far apart but he was going to change that. "Come here," she gave him a quizzical look as he raised his arm inviting her to cuddle. Confused as he never normally wanted much physical contact outside of the bedroom, she put it down to his personality but after today she was beginning to think twice about every conclusion she had made about the mysterious man before her. He had so many depths and she was barely toe deep.


	24. Chapter 23

**Title: Understanding**

**Slash: Jack/Ianto Jack/OC Gwen/Rhys Ianto/OC  
**

**Spoilers: Set 7 (Earth) Years after COE**

**Summary: It's hard to carry on without your lover; yet life goes on and love is never far away.**

**A/N Hope you enjoy this update, thank you to everyone who has followed/favourite the story its really appreciated. Extra thanks to Aya2013 for the review. **

**Please review :)**

_Chapter Twenty Three_

Jack and Andrew spent the evening playing games with Cadi, every now and then Jack would have to leave the game to sort out dinner. By the time dinner was ready Cadi was already well worn out. They ate dinner and spoke as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened over the pass week. It wasn't until the four year old had an empty plate that she brought up the sensitive subject. "Daddy, will Ianto phone me tonight like he said he would?"

Jack glanced between the two sets of eyes that were awaiting his reply. "Did he promise you that he would call?" she nodded quickly in response, "then yes he will. Ianto always keeps his promises." He smiled reassuringly at her, hoping that she would not become overly attached too quickly as that would not end well. "Right sweetheart, who would you like to bath you tonight?"

"Papa!" she expressed without a second thought, grinning brightly at both men. With that they got up, Andrew taking Cadi upstairs for her bath and Jack cleared away the plates into the dishwasher. He switched it on then wiped down the table and put everything away. Once done he looked around and wondered when it became so easy for him to live like this. Having a daughter had truly changed him; he had come a long way from the monster he had once allowed himself to become.

Hearing the bath drain Jack made his way upstairs, walking into his daughter's bedroom he saw Andrew tying Cadi's hair into a plat, well attempting too at any rate. Chuckling as Andrew struggled to keep all the hair in Jack took over and expertly finished it off. "All done. Now what book would you like to read before bed?"

"Can you read me the one about King Arthur please?" With that they all settled down on the bed, as Jack and Andrew read to Cadi, each man providing voices for each different character. As they reached the half way mark, where they would normally call it a night and tuck Cadi into bed but Jacks phone went off. Ianto would be ringing in a few minutes. Jack went to get the phone as Andrew put the book away and ensured that everything was ready for her to go to sleep.

It was now eight o'clock, time for Ianto to ring Cadi but as he went to reach for his phone he noticed that Scarlett had fallen asleep clinging onto his top. He carefully grabbed his phone and sent a text to Jack that he would be phoning in a few minutes if that was still okay. Placing his phone on the arm of the sofa he gently moved Scarlett and carried her upstairs to bed. He put her down on the bed and took care not to wake her as he stripped her down to her underwear before placing the quilt over her. Pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead he studied the woman before him for a moment, exiting the room he cast a second glance back. Maybe he was falling in love after all, he was certain that if he let his guard down she would swiftly steal his heart.

Avoiding the creaky step he made his way back downstairs, picking up his phone he had received a response from a Jack saying that it was still fine to ring. Nervously he listed to the connection tone, he turned the television off and headed to the kitchen, he didn't want to wake Scarlett nor did he want to whisper on the phone.

"Hello," a sweet sleepily voice greeted him.

"Hello Cadi, are you all ready for bed?"

"Yeah, Daddy said you would keep your promise, he says you always keep your promises."

"Did he? Well he knows me well." There was a slight pause, this was all so new to Ianto but somehow the conversation developed naturally. "Have you had a good day?"

"Yeah, it's been good; I wish you could have been here with us."

How had a four year old he'd just met managed to make him feel guilty about living his life? "Well you should get to sleep now, sweet dreams Cadi."

"Nun' night Ianto," she yawned before climbing into bed. And sure enough sleep encompassed her as soon as her head had touched the pillow. Andrew tucked the quilt over her, taking the phone from her hand and pressed a kiss to her cheek, whispering good night before leaving the room and handing the phone to Jack.

"Thanks for calling; I know you didn't have to...hell to be honest I half expected you to run away and never look back."

Ianto was quiet for a moment, thinking how to word what he was feeling. "I don't have the strength in order to walk away from you again, I couldn't do it. And I couldn't be responsible for hurting a child as fragile and innocent as Cadi." He sighed, "but I'm so confused Jack, I don't know what to do in order to not hurt anybody, I'm lying to someone I care about because the truth is just to painful and complicated, I feel like I'm messing up your lives and I can't even begin to comprehend the swarm of emotions that are going on in my head."

"I know Ianto, I feel the same, just please no matter what happens, please don't leave me again. I once promised you that you would not be a blip in time, that I would not forget you, don't make the little time we have any shorter." Tears welled up in his eyes, Andrew disappeared for a moment, he came back passing Jack some tissue, reassuringly squeezed his shoulder before leaving him to talk in private.

"I'm sorry Jack," his voice cracked as tears began to track down his cheek. "I was selfish, but your life is better now, it's better without me."

"Don't... Please just don't." Both men took a moment to try to calm their emotions. "We'll work something out; it's just going to take time."

"Good thing you're not short of time," Ianto tried to joke, anything to lighten the dark mood even for the briefest of seconds. "I'll let you get on now, goodnight Jack, we'll talk again soon."

"Goodnight Ianto, take care of yourself." Shakily Jack hung up the phone; using the tissue his lover had handed him he wiped his tears away. How had it come to this? Why had it come to this?


	25. Chapter 24

**Title: Understanding**

**Slash: Jack/Ianto Jack/OC Gwen/Rhys Ianto/OC **

**Spoilers: Set 7 (Earth) Years after COE**

**Summary: It's hard to carry on without your lover; yet life goes on and love is never far away.**

**A/N: Thank you to those who have followed/favorited, even bigger thanks to PCJanto and Aya2013 for your reviews.**

**Reviews are loved and help me to write quicker, thank you everyone for reading, hope you enjoy this update :)**

_Chapter twenty four_

Ianto dropped his phone onto the counter; he hadn't noticed the figure lingering in the doorway. His body began to shake as more tears forced their way out; Ianto Jones was falling uncontrollably apart. This had happened only twice before, firstly when Lisa died...his beautiful Lisa, Jack had been there for him, he had given him meaning again, saved him from himself. The second was when Jack had left to go off with the Doctor, that time he had the friendship of Tosh and the medical assistance of Owen. He wondered who would save him now? Did he deserve being saved again? He'd been dead...he should've stayed that way, why was he dragged back to life? Why come back only to suffer?

Wordlessly Scarlett strode over to him, turned him around and held onto him, her heart shattering as the Welshman came apart on her. She hadn't meant to eavesdrop, but she had heard voices and it wasn't until she was in the doorway that she realised Ianto was on the phone. She tried not to listen but what she had overheard indicated that there was so much that Ianto had left out. She became determined now, whatever it was she would be there for Ianto.

Eventually the shaking had subsided and the tears had ceased to fall. Scarlett broke the embrace and entwined her hand with his; she led him upstairs and into the bathroom. She ran him a bath adding scented oils to act as a relaxant before turning her attention back to him. She slowly undressed him, Ianto's body remained for the most part unresponsive, moving only to aid in undressing, he was completely empty of everything. Checking the temperature she turned off the taps and indicated for Ianto to get in.

As he lowered himself into the water he felt his muscles slowly begin to relax, he smiled gratefully at Scarlett, she paused to smile back before leaving the room. Ianto sighed and sunk further into the warm water, the scent of the oil helping to clear his mind, the bubbles soothing his tense muscles. He closed his eyes and gave over to his senses. When he opened them again he saw a steaming cup resting on the side of the bath and that 4 candles had also been lit. She was always looking out for him, even though he had done nothing to deserve such loyalty. He took a sip of his coffee and smiled at the quality, she was the only person he knew of that could make coffee to almost rival his own. As he set his cup back on the side Scarlett wondered back into the bathroom placing a warmed towel over the radiator. "I'm sorry that it will never be as good as yours." Ianto reached out and lightly grabbed hold of her wrist pulling her over to him.

"You're coffee is a beautiful as you," they met each other in a tender kiss. "Thank you for doing this, it's really helped me to relax. I'm sorry that I haven't been the best boyfriend to you, but I promise I'm going to change that, I care about you." Their eyes connected for what seemed like eternity, conversations going unspoken between the two. _He cares about me, what does that even mean? Does he care for me like I care for him? Or the way I care for Charlie? I'm in love with this man and I can't escape the feeling that he is a million miles from loving me. But maybe, just maybe he does love me; he just needs to admit it to himself before he can really feel something._

"I'll leave you to finish your bath," with that she pressed a kiss to his forehead and left him to relax. Wondering into the bedroom she flicked on the bedside lamps and closed the curtains. She turned the television on and flicked through the channels, once she had settled on one she got undressed and climbed into bed. As an afterthought she got back out of bed and pulled out a pair of Ianto's boxers that she kept in the bedside table next to where he often slept. It was a practical solution. She placed them on the bottom of the bed before wandering down into the kitchen to get them both a glass of water. As she reached the top of the stairs she was greeted by the view of Ianto dressed in only a towel. She stared at his arse as he bent over the bath to pull the plug out, and smiled as he delicately cleared everything away to its rightful place. Tearing her eyes away she went back into the bedroom to wait for him.

The bath had really helped Ianto sort out his mind, yes Jack would now be back in his life but no that did not mean anything really had to change. The only difference would be his visits to see Cadi, and although she is his biologically- the thought still makes his head hurt, Jack and Andrew are her parents and that is the way which he wants things to stay. He would rather be more of an uncle figure, he was more used to that, more comfortable with it. He just didn't know how to tell Scarlett about it, he decided that he would not say anything until the trail two months were up. At that point something more solid would be arranged with regards to Cadi and that would be an appropriate time to mention her.

Happy that the bathroom was clean he made his way to the bedroom, water dripping from him marking his footsteps. He placed the coffee cup which he had carried through with him on the side before removing the towel from his waist and drying himself off, not minding that Scarlett was watching his every move. He pulled on the underwear that Scarlett had put out for him and smiled in thanks at her. Just on queue Charlie started scratching at the back door to be let out. "Be back in a moment," he picked up the cup and went downstairs returning a few moments later having let Charlie out in the garden and got him back in. Sliding into bed he was suppressed as he was pulled into an earth shattering kiss. Getting his breath back he looked quizzically at his girlfriend, "what was that for?"

"Being your sexy self," she winked at him turning the TV and her bedside lamp off. Turning his light off, he put all of his attention on Scarlett and entwined his body with hers. Tonight he was going to show her how sorry he was for being so emotionally vacant.


	26. Chapter 25

**Title: Understanding**

**Slash: Jack/Ianto Jack/OC Gwen/Rhys Ianto/OC **

**Spoilers: Set 7 (Earth) Years after COE**

**Summary: It's hard to carry on without your lover; yet life goes on and love is never far away.**

**A/N: Huge thank you to everyone who is reading this. Thank you to those who have followed this story, and especially for those of you that have reviewed! **

**Just to clarify, Jack and Ianto will get back together, its just a long road to that process so please bare with me. **

**Reviews are loved and greatly appreciated. **

_Chapter twenty five_

Shakily Jack put the phone back on the hook in their bedroom; he slowly made his way downstairs and collapsed into the arms of his waiting lover. Andrew held him tight in his arms, Jacks head cradled into his neck. They stayed locked in that embrace for what seems like an eternity, the world swirling around them as they stood still, together against the world. Pulling away to look into his lovers eyes, tears brimming in his own, Jack pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "I'm so sorry for putting you through all of this, but you have changed me in ways I have never thought possible. Only you could have turned me into the man that I have now become. Only you could have made me so caring and gentle, I would be nothing but an empty shell of a man without you, without your love, your light guiding me through." Andrew didn't know how to reply, he felt himself well up with emotion. How had he been so lucky to find Jack?

Deciding he needed to do something before he started crying Andrew pulled out of the embrace. "Do you want a coffee or something stronger?"

"I'll have a whiskey please," he couldn't think of coffee right now, coffee always meant Ianto and it always would. He could never have a cup without comparing it to Iantos, never. With that Andrew made his way into the kitchen and poured Jack a generous shot of whiskey and one not so generous for himself. The past few days had been tough, and they were only going to get harder in the coming weeks.

The men settled down on the couch, the room was filled with a heavy silence as they became engulfed by their own thoughts. Jack had lived so long, had so many different lives and none had been more of a rollercoaster then the present. Never had he felt so overwhelmingly happy and loved whilst being so broken and completely shattered.

Half a bottle of whiskey down and the men had barely spoken. Time swirled around the men unnoticed, lost forever. It wasn't until Jack got a text that the stillness was broken. Taking out his phone he saw that it was from Gwen, he should have known that work was too quiet to last. Opening the text he was shocked to find that it was not work related at all. She was concerned that something was wrong, stating that she knew him to well to lie. Showing Andrew the text they agreed that their only option would be to tell Gwen the truth, she deserved to know after all, and would easily see through one of Jacks lies. She really did know him too well. He decided to sum everything up in three words: Ianto came back. Jack pressed the send button before he could talk himself out of it.

Andrew wrapped an arm around his lover and pulled him in close, he needed to be strong for Jack now. He had to put his own insecurities behind him and take care of Jack. "Why don't you head up to bed, I'll be up in a minute." His soft voice breaking through the stillness, with a nod of his head Jack complied and made his way upstairs. Andrew flicked the television off, before straightening the cushions on the coach. Turning all the lights off downstairs he made his way upstairs, keeping the upstairs hallway light on in case Cadi woke up during the night to use the bathroom.

Jack walked upstairs and headed straight for his bedroom; he stripped and placed his clothes into the laundry basket before heading into the bathroom. With an empty bladder and freshly cleaned teeth he slid into bed and waited for Andrew. Moments later he heard Andrew enter the bathroom to carry out his usual before bed routine, a few minutes later he was stood by the bed pulling his top and jeans off. Today had been a long day but tomorrow would be better...or so he hoped. Climbing into bed the two men wrapped themselves in each other, swapping words of comfort and love before sleep had engulfed them. Two men, curled up in bed, determined to face the world together.

The men awoke with a start as Cadi propelled herself onto them. "Wake up! Wake up sleep heads!"

"Alright, alright we're getting up" Andrew sighed, it was the same most mornings. "Let's get you dressed while Daddy wakes up." With that Cadi sprung off the bed and ran into her room, how could someone be so energetic so early? Jack had groaned and turned his head into his pillow. Andrew chuckled to himself at the sight before heading into Cadi's room to help her get dressed. Somehow Jack had managed to drag himself out of bed, once he was showered and dressed he checked his phone, there was a message from Gwen demanding an explanation at work today. Stuffing his phone into his pocket he put on his trade mark grin, all but ran downstairs and scooped his little girl up into his arms, giggling she struggled in vain against his hold before giving in and planting a sloppy kiss on his cheek. He had to put his moping to one side, this little girl was his life, and she was precious like the little time he would have with her, he had to make the most of now. He looked over at Andrew who was preparing breakfast for everyone, gently placing Cadi onto the floor he strode over and wrapped his arms firmly around the younger mans waist. As he pressed a kiss to his neck he felt Andrew relax into him. "You seem happy; did you sleep well last night?"

"Yeah, but that's not why I'm so happy. Today's a new day and I'm blessed to be able to spend this time with the two of you, I intend to make the most of it." Andrew understood completely where Jack was coming from; he placed the food on the table and helped Cadi into her chair. They are their breakfast with light conversation flowing between them. Jack was the first to leave, the rift predictor had started and he had to dart to work. Which left Andrew to take Cadi to nursery before going to his own job, he hated it, but he had to do something, true they could survive quite easily on Jacks wages never mind the huge amount of savings that he had accumulated over the years but he would go stir crazy if he had no work to go to. No properly structured routine to follow. He felt that today would be a good day; a weight had been lifted somehow.


End file.
